


Trip on Love

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon, Drama, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-28
Updated: 2005-07-01
Packaged: 2018-12-26 17:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12063984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Fate's a funny thing and Brian finds out just how funny when he rescues a blond twink with no memory of who he is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

**A/N:** There's a very short scene involving an attempted rape in this part, but it's not graphic.

* * *

He sucked in a breath that felt and sounded more like a sob and tried to keep it together. He couldn't panic, not now. Later, when he was safe, when he was home in his bed behind locked doors and an alarm, that was when he could fall apart. But not now.

He raced through the night dark streets, hearing the pounding footsteps of the men who were chasing as they got closer and closer.

_Oh, God. I don't want to die. Please..._

He tripped over a curb and hit the pavement hard, driving all the air from his lungs and scraping his knees and palms over the rough surface beneath him. He didn't even feel the pain, already struggling to rise.

They were going to catch him. He had to _move_. He made it to his feet and managed only a dozen steps before he collapsed again. This time he did let out the sob that tore at his throat as his knee gave out on him, the pain shooting through his whole body.

He began to crawl, desperate, and screamed when he was grabbed from behind. Hands gripped his hair tight, pulling him upright. Tears formed in his eyes as he struggled against the painful grip and he managed to catch the man behind him with an elbow. He heard a curse and then his neck was wrenched painfully as he was spun around. His hair was released, but before he could react a fist connected with his cheek and he hit the ground again. Pain exploded in his head and his stomach rebelled. 

He felt hands on him, turning him onto his stomach, pulling at his clothes and he tried to fight them. But he couldn't get his body to do what he wanted, couldn't think through the pain. He felt something hot and wet dripping down his neck and cool air on his back and then everything, blessedly, went black.

***

Brian slowed his jeep as he approached a stop sign and came to a rolling stop before continuing through the intersection. It was still early, the sun having set only a couple hours ago, but he wasn't on his way to Babylon or Woody's or the baths, or even the diner. He was heading home to work on a presentation that had to be finished by ten tomorrow morning, a presentation that had been dumped into his lap by one of the partners after the associate who had been working on it quit.

He didn't know whether it was a sign of their faith in him or a way to get rid of him by making him look incompetent. Either way he was going to kick ass in that meeting tomorrow, if he had to stay up all night tonight to do it. Even if he had to go without a fuck.

Brian Kinney didn't fail.

He resented the hell out of this whole shitty situation, though.

He took his eyes off the road for a minute to turn on the radio with a sharp twist of the dial, taking out some of his frustration on the benign mechanism. He looked back up just in time to catch sight of several figures in the middle of the street in front of him.

"Shit!" He slammed on his brakes to avoid running them over and realized that he had stumbled into the middle of what looked like a mugging. The jeep screeched to a halt and he laid on the horn.

The muggers, three of them, had been looming over a fourth person and had frozen when his headlights lit them up, but now they bolted, leaving their victim in a heap on the road.

Brian unbuckled his seatbelt and jumped out of the jeep. He headed for the person laid out in the street, but kept a wary eye out for the assholes who'd fled. Once he'd gotten closer, he could see that the person on the ground was young, certainly underage. It was hard to say how young, though, thanks to the dim light and the state the kid was in.

What the hell was a kid doing in this part of town at close to eleven at night? He knelt beside the boy and swore again when he saw the blood coating the kid's hair. One look at the torn clothing and he reassessed his earlier opinion. He hadn't interrupted a mugging; he'd interrupted a rape.

"Fuck!"

He pressed his fingers against the kid's neck and was unexpectedly relieved to feel a strong pulse. The kid wasn't in danger of dying just yet, but he needed to get to a hospital. And it looked like he was going to have to get the kid there.

If he'd had a cell phone, he could call an ambulance and clear out as soon as it arrived. But he didn't have a cell phone. _That's it. I'm getting a God damned cell phone first thing tomorrow. Even if it does mean no escape from Lindsey and Michael._

Not that it would help him now.

He tapped the kid on the cheek. "C'mon, kid. Wake up and help me get your ass into the jeep." When there was, unsurprisingly, no response Brian swore again and hauled the kid up onto his shoulder in a fireman's carry, nearly getting knee-capped by a large messenger bag that was still hanging around the kid's neck and one arm. "You're going to repay me for this six hundred dollar suit that your blood is ruining," he said to the body in his arms as he walked over to the passenger door.

The kid wasn't heavy and he managed to open the door and, after removing his briefcase, get the kid settled into the seat without much trouble. He gave one last wary look around as he climbed into the driver's seat, but there was no sign that the kid's attackers were returning.

This little mission of mercy was really going to fuck up his time table. Why couldn't the kid have gotten attacked somewhere else? "Fuck."

He executed a perfect three-point turn and headed for the nearest hospital. When they arrived, Brian pulled up in front of the emergency entrance and left his passenger in the jeep while he went in to get help.

He walked up to the nurses' station and said, "Hey. I need some help here."

The harassed looking nurse in front of him, without even looking up, handed him a clipboard with a form on it and said, "Fill that out and bring it back. Someone will be with you as soon as possible."

He dumped the clipboard on the counter. "Look, I've got a kid bleeding to death in my car. Do you think you, or someone who gives a fuck, could get your ass out there to help him?"

The nurse gave him a startled look that quickly morphed into a glare. "There's no need..."

"Yes, there is. Are you coming or should I just drag his body in here to bleed out on your floor instead of on my upholstery?"

By this time a couple more hospital employees had shown up. Hearing him speak, one ran towards the automatic doors and the other grabbed a gurney from where it rested against a wall and headed out as well; Brian followed them.

He watched them load the kid's still unconscious body onto the gurney. Once the kid was out he closed the door and started to head for the driver's side, thankful that the whole thing was over, but was stopped.

"When you've parked your car, come back here."

He turned to look at the woman who'd spoken, the harassed-looking nurse, and said, "Why?"

She frowned at him. "What do you mean why? Someone needs to fill out the paperwork. We need to know who he is, get permission to treat him..."

"And find out who's going to pay?"

The nurse's frown got deeper and the glare returned. He could almost hear the word "asshole" when she looked at him and he smirked at her.

"Sorry," he said as he opened his door, "I can't help you. I don't know who the hell he is. I just found him in the road."

"Then you'll have to stay and talk to the police." Hearing the smug tone in her voice, he looked back and saw a matching look on her face. "They're going to want to know what happened. Make sure that you didn't run him over."

"Fuck that."

She smirked at him and made a point of checking his license plate number. "Suit yourself. It's no skin off my nose if you want to make the cops hunt you down," she said and then strolled back inside. He slammed his hand down on the door frame and cursed whatever higher, or lower, power had dumped that kid into his path tonight.

She was right about the cops. The sooner he got it over with the better. He didn't want to wind up as their prime suspect just because he was convenient and had annoyed them. Hopefully, the kid would clear him when he woke up, but what if he never woke up?

So, he parked his car, collected his briefcase, and went back inside. After cleaning up as best he could in the restroom, he sat down in the waiting area to wait. 

He'd planned to get some work done, because he'd be fucked if he'd get fired over some twat too stupid not to go home when it got dark out, but didn't manage to get much done. There were too many people blubbering and moaning around him and he could feel that nurse's eyes on him. He'd look up every now and then and smirk at her and she'd sneer at him and look away.

After a few hours of fun, he saw two cops walk over to Nurse Ratchett. One was a tall and overweight man with bright red hair and pasty skin. The other was a woman a few inches shorter than her partner with short black hair and dusky skin, Hispanic maybe, and very attractive if you went for that sort of thing.

Nurse Ratchett pointed at him (didn't your mother ever teach you that pointing was rude?) and the cops gave him the once over before heading in his direction.

He put his work away and stood, not wanting them to be able to look down on him. It was a classic power game and one that he wasn't going to play.

"You the one brought in that kid who'd been attacked?" Lady Cop said.

"Yeah."

The male cop pulled out a note pad and said, "I'm O'Brien. This is Ramirez. Wanna tell us what happened?"

He shrugged. "Turned a corner and saw them there in the road."

"Them?"

"The kid and three others, looked like they were mugging him."

"Did you get a look at the muggers?"

Brian spent the next several minutes relating what little he could remember about the men he'd seen and describing, in detail, everything that happened before, during, and after.

"So, the kid never woke up, never said anything at all?"

What little control Brian had over his temper snapped. "Now that you mention it, he did speak. He told me his whole life story, but I'd forgotten all about it until just this minute."

"Don't be an asshole," Ramirez said. "We're just doing our jobs."

"Well, I'm not. Instead of doing my job, I'm stuck here answering stupid questions. It's no wonder people don't want to get involved."

"Well, pardon us," O'Brien said. "We'll be sure to put you in for a medal or something. In honor of your great sacrifice."

Brian gave the cop a dirty look and said, "Can I go now?"

Ramirez opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted.

"Excuse me?" A young man with a stethoscope around his neck looked them over warily and said to Brian, "Are you the one who brought in the beating victim?"

"I brought in _a_ beating victim."

"I'm Dr. Waters. If you'd come with me?"

"Why?"

"The boy's awake. I thought you'd like to see him."

Brian had had enough. He grabbed his briefcase. "You thought wrong. I'd like to..."

"That sounds like a great idea, Doctor," Ramirez said. "Let's go see the boy. Shall we?"

Brian clenched his jaw and forced back the reply he wanted to make. He knew what Ramirez wanted. She wanted to see if the kid would finger him as one of his attackers. 

"Fine. Let's," he bit out through gritted teeth.

Dr. Waters looked back and forth between them, brow furrowed. "The boy has a concussion as well as some other more minor injuries. He's also been through quite a trauma tonight. Maybe this could wait?"

Ramirez visibly softened. "We won't bother him, Doctor. I promise. If it looks like it's getting to be too much for him, we'll leave and come back tomorrow."

Dr. Waters reluctantly agreed, "Alright," he said and led them through the halls, into an elevator, and down some more halls before stopping in front of an open door.

He guided them inside and pulled back a curtain, revealing the back of a shockingly vulnerable-looking blond visibly shivering under a too thin sheet and a thread-bare Johnny. Brian could see the bumps of his vertebra where the Johnny gaped open. Eyes locked on that tantalizing glimpse of smooth, creamy skin, he felt his pulse leap and his dick harden.

_What the fuck?_ Since when did he start getting turned on by bony twinks.

Then the kid turned to face them and Brian's dick went rock hard as he felt an electric shock spark through his whole body leaving him momentarily energized. The kid, who looked twelve but was probably sixteen or seventeen, had the most amazing blue eyes and pouty lips that just screamed out to be kissed or wrapped around a man's dick. (how he wanted that dick to be his!) He was beautiful and if Brian had spotted him standing on a street corner, he'd have hauled the boy back to his place to fuck all night long.

But he hadn't spotted the kid standing on a corner; he'd found him lying in a bloody heap in the road.

The kid's attention seemed to be focused on him, for some weird reason, and he liked it.

He liked it a lot. Thank God his pants were loose enough to hide his hard-on.

He was less impressed by the rather spectacular blue-black bruise covering most of the kid's right cheek. He also noticed other less intense bruises on the kid's arms.

"Hi," the kid said.

"Hi," he replied, a little at a loss for once in his life. There was something deeply disquieting about the pretty boy in front of him.

Ramirez moved over to settle on the edge of the hospital bed and it startled Brian. For a minute there, he'd forgotten that there was anyone else in the room and it shook him further. What the hell was going on?

"Hi, baby," Ramirez said and Brian felt himself bristle at the endearment. He felt his breath quicken momentarily. Why should he care if she called the twat "baby"? It's not like the kid was his lover or anything. He didn't do relationships.

He needed to get the fuck out of here, now, because he seemed to have stepped into the Twilight Zone at some point and he wanted out.

"I'm Officer Ramirez. I'm here to talk to you about what happened tonight."

The kid looked bewildered. Looking from Ramirez to Brian, his expression shifted from bewildered to frightened.

"I...I...don't...I don't remember."

Doctor Waters stepped forward then and rested a hand on the kid's shoulder. "That's nothing to be worried about. It's common for concussions to be accompanied by partial amnesia." He turned to look at Ramirez. "I don't think he's going to be able to answer any of your questions."

Despite his decision to leave, Brian couldn't bring himself to walk out. The kid was looking at him again and he couldn't seem to look away, didn't really _want_ to look away.

"What happened to me?"

Everyone froze for a minute, not quite sure how to break the news. Finally, Brian spoke. "You were mugged, Kid. Got hit on the head, but you're going to be fine. Right, Doc?"

"Oh, yes." Waters smiled at the scared kid in front of him. "The concussion and a few bruises are your only injuries. Nothing to worry about."

"Oh."

"Baby, can you tell me your name so we can contact your parents?"

The kid looked at her for a moment, expression blank, and then the fear returned. The kid turned panicked eyes on Brian and said, "I don't know. I can't remember."


	2. Trip on Love

_This night just gets better and better doesn't it_ , Brian thought to himself as he watched the kid start to hyperventilate.

Ramirez quickly leaned over to stroke the kid's back and croon at him. Shit, all this estrogen was making him light-headed. That was probably why he wanted to be the one holding the kid.

Right. Like he'd said earlier, time to go.

"Do you know who I am?"

Brian, who had started to back away, stopped when the kid spoke, because he'd directed his words at Brian. Made sense, he was the only one in the room that didn't have a professional reason for being there.

"Sorry, Kid. I don't."

The kid frowned. "Then why are you here?"

"He's the one that found you, son," Waters replied.

"Oh."

After a minute, "What's going to happen to me?"

Ramirez, who still had a hand on the kid's shoulder, said, "We'll check missing persons reports. If one hasn't already been filed, then sometime in the next couple days one will be. We'll get you home, baby."

"Where will I go until then? Do I stay here?"

"Well, we could probably keep you overnight. Someone needs to watch you because of the concussion, but beyond that..."

"I'll take him," Brian heard himself say, but didn't actually believe it until he saw the relief on the kid's face and the shock on everyone else's.

_Fuck!_ He must have taken something hallucinogenic earlier without realizing it. Brian Kinney didn't do shit like this. He didn't offer to provide succor to brain damaged twinks.

"I suppose we could release him into your custody, um, unless there's some legal...," Waters trailed off and looked over at the cops.

O'Brien, who hadn't said word one since they'd walked through the door, just looked at his partner. Brian could see who had the balls in _that_ partnership.

Ramirez studied him for several long moments while the kid looked at her nervously. Brian didn't know why the hell the kid seemed so eager to go home with him. He could be a serial killer or a sadist or something.

Pissed off, because he wanted the cop to say "no", but wanted her to say "yes" even more, Brian waited.

"I shouldn't, but...I'm going to trust you," Ramirez said. "You could have left him out there and you didn't, so you probably aren't a danger to him and, frankly, almost anything is better than juvenile detention, which is where we'd have to put him."

It made sense; they couldn't find someone to take the kid at this time of the morning and there was no point in trying when the kid would be reunited with mommy and daddy in a day or two.

"So, I can go with him?"

"Looks that way, Kid," Brian said.

He looked out at the rapidly lightening sky and sighed. He was screwed. "What do we need to do to get out of here?"

"There are some discharge papers that need to be prepared and signed," Waters said.

"We've got some paperwork, too, but I'll bring it by your place later today," Ramirez said.

"Fine. Let's get this over with," Brian said sharply. Ramirez gave him a look, which he ignored. "Does he have anything to wear?" He'd seen the kid's clothes and didn't think they'd be wearable, what with all the blood and holes.

Waters said, "We can lend him some scrubs to wear out of here, but..."

"My son's about his size, maybe a little bigger," O'Brien said. "I'll bring some stuff over later."

"Thank you," the kid said with a breathtaking smile that instantly re-hardened Brian's dick. What the hell was he thinking, taking in a foundling? Especially, one that he wanted to fuck.

Christ, was this the hell his parents were always telling him he was going to?

He wasn't the least bit mollified to see that no one in the room had been unaffected by the smile. All those doting looks where making him sick. "Can we get this done sometime today? Only, I hadn't planned on spending the next few days in this room. And neither did the kid."

"Oh, yes, of course, I'll go...um...One of the nurses will be in with the clothing and the necessary papers."

"Thanks," Brian said, with a sneer, as the doctor walked by him.

"Don't worry about a thing, baby. We'll find your family," Ramirez said and Brian nearly gagged. "We'll see you later. All right?"

The kid nodded and smiled again, but this one was smaller, shyer and just as fucking arousing.

This was what he got for skipping his nightly fuck.

Ramirez gave the kid's shoulder one last squeeze and then got up to leave. O'Brien gave the kid a pat on the head, like he was a fucking puppy, and then he too left -- leaving Brian alone with the twink.

"Um, hey," the kid said with another, more uncertain smile. Brian flung himself down into a nearby chair and stared at the ceiling.

"This is only temporary. If we don't find your family within the next few days then you're going somewhere else." He looked over at the kid. "Got that?"

The kid was looking kind of wide-eyed, but he nodded his head like he understood. So, why did Brian feel like he was being humored?

He opened his mouth to put the kid in his place, but was interrupted by a nurse coming in carrying some ugly ass clothing in her hand that couldn't possibly be the scrubs for the kid. They were bright blue and covered in pastel rugrats doing cutesy rugrat shit. The bottoms looked to be pink. 

He sat up straighter and watched her walk over to the kid, trying to decide if he was going to let the kid put that shit on.

The nurse glanced his way then turned her attention to the foundling. "Here you go," she said as she handed the clothing to him. "These are for you. You can change in the bathroom." She turned to indicate a closed door at the front of the room.

Maybe she planned to say or do something more, Brian didn't know. However, after spotting the appalled look on the kid's face as he took in the clothing that he'd been handed, she simply told them she'd be back shortly with his discharge paperwork and left.

Brian smiled. The kid had potential.

"I can't wear this." Brian nearly burst out laughing when he heard the horrified tone in the kid's voice.

"Well, you could always wear what you have on."

The kid looked down at the barely there Johnny then back at the scrubs and said, "I think I'd rather wear the hospital gown."

Brian did burst out laughing then and walked over to the bedside. Still chuckling, he gathered up the scrubs and pulled the sheet off of the kid.

He got a glimpse of the very tip of the kid's dick before the kid could cover up and wished the Johnny had ridden up just a little higher...

"Hey! What are you doing?"

Brian shifted his eyes back up to meet the kid's and said, without a trace of shame, "I'm getting you up so you can change." He noticed that the kid was blushing slightly, but didn't look away and Brian, once again, felt a twinge of respect. This one was a fighter.

"You're not getting out of here unless you put those hideous things on, so get to it."

The kid gave the scrubs one more dirty look then rose, with a long suffering sigh, something you'd have expected from Job after being screwed over for the thousandth time, making sure that as little of his body as possible was revealed by his movements.

"Suck it up, Princess. This is hardly the worst thing you'll have to endure."

The kid rolled his eyes and flounced off to change. Brain shook his head in disbelief. If he'd had any doubts about the kid's sexuality before (and he hadn't; his ability to spot a queer was absolute), he didn't now. Only a total queen could put that much drama into a walk.

He also got one hell of an eyeful, since the kid forgot all about the open back on his Johnny during his hissy fit. That kid had the most incredible ass...

_//FLASH//_

_Brian stroked his hands along the flanks of the beautiful blond braced beneath him on his hands and knees. He gripped the kid's hips hard enough to bruise and drove back into the clinging heat of the blond's hole. He heard the boy moan his name, begging for, "More, harder, faster. Brian!" And he responded, driving himself into that tight ass over and over again. Feeling the blazing heat of his orgasm building with every stroke, with every cry from lush, tempting lips until..._

_//FLASH//_

"I don't have any shoes."

He snapped abruptly back to reality to find himself stretched back out in the chair he'd sat in earlier, hand on his dick, and the kid standing over him with his arms crossed looking alternately mutinous and intrigued.

Brian sat up and glared at the kid. "Wear those fucking paper things or go barefoot."

The kid huffed out a breath and then flopped down on the bed with a pout. "I look fucking ridiculous," he said plucking at the vivid top he wore.

"That's the least of your worries right now," Brian said, still trying to recover his equilibrium after being caught stroking himself off to images of fucking the boy that had been left in his care.

The kid suddenly deflated and wrapped his arms around his torso. Brian groaned. _Fuck!_

He stood up and said, "Don't you dare cry. Everything's fucked up right now, but crying isn't going to make it better. Only you can do that."

"How?"

"By refusing to be beaten. By telling life to go fuck itself. You're either strong enough to survive or you're not."

The kid sat there for several long seconds, eyes locked on Brian's. Finally, he straightened and took a deep breath. "When can we get the hell out of here?"

Brian smiled at the kid and ruffled his hair. "As soon as that fucking nurse gets back here with those fucking forms."

The kid flashed a feeble grin. But before he could start acting any more pathetic the nurse arrived with the kid's discharge instructions and some pain pills. He listened impatiently to her blather on, tucked the pills into his pocket, and grabbed his briefcase from where he'd dropped it earlier.

After what felt like hours, she finished her spiel and let him sign on the dotted line. "Finally," he said.

The nurse ignored his comment and smiled kindly at the kid. "Your clothes weren't salvageable, but your bag is in the cupboard next to your bed." With one last smile she was gone.

The kid was already headed for the cupboard to collect his stuff. Brian waited impatiently. He wanted to leave now, while there was still a chance to get _some_ work done on his presentation. But, then again, the contents of the bag might trigger some memories.

It might trigger all the kid's memories and then he could just take the twink home to mommy and daddy.

"You can look at that when we get back to the loft."

The kid had gathered up his ratty looking green messenger bag and was in the process of setting it down on the bed when Brian spoke. He hesitated for a moment. "I...we can wait a couple minutes, right?" He fingered one of the bag's fasteners. "There could be something..."

"The cops already went through it, Kid. If there was anything identifying who you are then they would have told you."

"I know that, but maybe something in here will help me remember something."

Brian sighed and sat back down. He might as well just kiss his job good-bye right now.

"Fine. But make it quick."

The kid was opening the bag and dumping out the contents before Brian had even finished speaking. Brian smirked; that was certainly quick.

Curious, he went over to look at the bag's contents. There wasn't much to look at, but what was there told them something important about the kid.

"You're an artist," he said as he held up a sketchbook and the kid poked at the various colored pencils that had spilled out. There had to have been more in the bag at some point, but it was gone now -- probably scattered across the streets of Pittsburgh or in the pockets of the blond's would-be rapists. He clenched his jaw and tried to contain the sudden rage that followed at the thought of anyone forcing themselves on the boy standing next to him. If he ever saw those fuckers again...

"Yeah," the kid agreed, almost reverently and Brian looked up at the kid's face, pushing away all thoughts of murder for the time being.

"You remember something?"

"No, not really. It just...feels familiar, you know?"

"Not really." He stuffed the sketchbook back into the bag and said, "Pack this back up so we can go."

The kid sighed and gave a longing look at the sketchbook that had just disappeared inside the bag, but did as Brian asked. After putting everything back, he closed it back up and looped the strap over his head and tucked one arm through so that the bag rested against his hip.

"Alright," was all he said and let Brian lead him out of the hospital to his new, temporary home.


	3. Trip on Love

**A/N:** Thanks bunches, to everyone who wrote reviews. I'm glad you're liking it so far. Hope you like the rest. :-)

* * *

He did his best to act calm and confident, but what he really wanted to do was curl up somewhere and cry. He'd never felt this frightened and alone in his entire life. At least, not that he could remember.

Of course, he couldn't remember anything beyond waking up a few hours ago in a hospital bed with a splitting headache and every inch of his body aching like a motherfucker, which was why he was standing in the middle of a strange room, in a strange apartment, with a strange man. And, for some reason unknown to him, he trusted that man to take care of him.

He could still remember the moment when he'd first seen the tall, gorgeous man. He'd been lying in that narrow, uncomfortable bed waiting for the pills they'd given him to kick in and dull the agony in his brain and when he'd rolled over there was a living god.

He would have thought he died and went to heaven except he hurt too much. He still couldn't explain why the man's presence soothed him or why he was so sure that Brian wouldn't hurt him. But he was sure.

And that's why he was trying to pretend he wasn't one step away from breaking down. He didn't want to disappoint his savior.

Said savior was confusing the hell out of him though. He used his peripheral vision to keep an eye on Brian without seeming to be keeping an eye on Brian and tried to understand why the man had taken him in. Because it was fairly obvious that Brian wasn't happy about it. He seemed almost schizophrenic in the way he ran hot one minute and cold the next.

"Do you want some water," Brian asked and reached into the fridge to pull out a bottle.

"Um, no. I'm good."

Brian leaned back against the counter and unscrewed the bottle's top. "You're making me feel like a serial killer."

"Oh," he said, feeling at a loss because he wasn't sure how to respond to that. He certainly didn't feel that way -- the exact opposite, actually. But, since he had no idea how Brian would react from one moment to the next, silence seemed like the best policy at the moment.

He'd let Brian figure out what the hell was going on and then just follow his lead.

Brian smirked, put the bottle down, and headed into the bedroom. This was the strangest place -- all one room, really, even though the bedroom was partitioned off from the rest behind a row of windows and on a platform. The set-up made him feel like the bed was an altar to some hedonistic god.

He nearly screamed when a pair of sweatpants unexpectedly smacked him in the face and the quick backwards jerk of his head made the dull throb in his skull abruptly intensify. His vision darkened around the edges and his legs got wobbly. He probably would have fallen, but Brian was suddenly there, holding onto his elbow with one hand and wrapping the other around his waist.

He leaned back against Brian and sucked in several slow deep breaths, trying to fight back the nausea. The pain and queasiness ebbed after several minutes, but he didn't move away from the strong body he was cradled against. He felt too good to move.

"Better?" Brian quietly asked after a short while.

"Yeah," he breathed out with a sigh.

He carefully pulled away and Brian continued to hold him until they were both sure that he wasn't going to keel over.

Brian scooped up the sweats that had fallen on the floor and handed them to him. "Go get changed and get into bed."

He sighed, wishing Brian was still holding him, and walked slowly into the bedroom to change.

***

Brian checked the clock and cursed silently when he saw how late it was. He had just about enough time to shower and change if he wanted to get to work on time and he couldn't just leave the kid alone all day. Someone needed to watch him.

Brian smirked. He knew just the person to look after the kid while he was gone. Providing she was available.

Brian grabbed the cordless and dialed Debbie's house. After a half dozen rings an annoyed voice came on the line. "This better be good. Do you know what time it is?"

"Now, is that any way to answer the phone, Deb?"

"It is at six a.m., asshole."

"You working today?"

"Not 'til tonight. Why?" Brian could hear the distrust in her voice.

"How fast can you get here?"

"Who said I was going to your place?"

Brian sighed. "I need a favor."

"What kind of favor?" Deb asked, sounding intensely suspicious.

"You'll find out when you get here," he said and hung up. He knew that she wouldn't be able to resist. The woman was too curious for her own good and she wouldn't want to miss out on an opportunity to have Brian in her debt. Not that she would. He had a feeling that she was going to fall in love with the little lost lamb he'd acquired.

Speaking of the lost lamb...

Brian headed into the bedroom to check on the kid and found him stretched out, face down, across most of the bed, sound asleep. He stood there for a moment admiring the lithe, young body spread out below him. Christ, he was perving out over a bare back.

He stalked off to have a shower. Half way there he stopped, returned to the bed and pulled the comforter up to cover the kid, and then headed in to shower. Twenty minutes later, he was dressed and sitting at his desk working when there was a knock on his door.

He opened the door at her knock and barely managed to get out of the way before he was run over by an over-eager Debbie.

"OK, what's this mysterious favor?" She asked as soon as she crossed the threshold.

Instead of answering he motioned for her to follow him and led her to the bedroom.

When she saw the blond in his bed her eyes widened and then narrowed and he knew she was jumping to nasty conclusions that weren't even close to the truth.

Unfortunately.

"It's not what you think," he said quietly and guided her back down into the kitchen area where they could talk. He quickly hit the high points from last night and this morning, then made his request.

"I can't leave him here alone."

"You want me to babysit?"

"Yeah."

Debbie paused for a moment, eyeing him speculatively. He braced himself for either an interrogation or gushing about how sweet he was to take the kid in. But she did neither of those things.

"Alright. I'll stay here with him today, but I've got the early morning shift tomorrow."

"You're working tonight and tomorrow morning? When do you plan on sleeping?"

"Someone had to cover for Kiki today. Her sister's having a baby," Deb said proudly.

Brian rolled his eyes. "You'd think you were the one having the kid."

"You know Kiki's like family," Deb defended. "You're just pissed because it means I can't be at your bidding. Vic might be able to do it, though, if you drop the kid off at the house."

"Hopefully, he'll be back with his parents tomorrow. But, if he isn't, I'll drop him at the house on my way to work."

"This is a really nice thing you're doing, Brian."

Brian shrugged and walked over to his desk to gather up the Vale Pharmaceuticals file and pack it back into his briefcase.

He heard Debbie's sigh behind him and then, "What's his name?"

"Haven't you been listening? He's got amnesia; he doesn't have a name."

"He's gotta have a name. What have you been calling him?"

"I haven't been calling him anything," Brian said.

Debbie sighed again, the long-suffering-mother one that always set Brian's teeth on edge. "If it's such a big deal to you then you name him." No way was he doing it. You name a stray and next thing you know it's become yours.

"Christ, Brian, you have all the sensitivity of a rock. Now, get out of here before I have to smack you."

"This is my place," Brian said, but he headed for the door anyway. Leaving was what he wanted to do, after all.

"You're the one who wants me here," Debbie said. He resisted giving her the finger, just barely, and walked out.

As he slid the door shut he could hear her say, "There better be some food in this goddamned place. Growing boys need to eat." There was a pause, then, "Growing girls, too."

"Fuck." How the hell did he get himself into this mess?

***

Debbie watched the front door close and grinned. Brian was so easy to aggravate sometimes. Still grinning, she headed over to check the fridge. She might have been harassing Brian with the food comments, but the kid would need to eat something when he woke up.

_Poor kid..._

What he'd gone through -- attacked in the street, losing his memory...

Instead of opening the fridge, she went back up to the bedroom and sat down beside the blanket-covered figure. She reached over to stroke one soft cheek and sighed. It was one hell of thing Brian was doing, taking a stranger into his home like this. She wondered what it was about the kid that had struck such a chord with a man who'd rather die than admit he gave a shit about anyone or anything. 

After giving the kid one last fond look, she got up and went back into the kitchen. She was dying of curiosity, wanting to see the kid in action, but she could wait. He'd wake up soon enough and she'd find out what was so special about him then.

Kid was fucking adorable, though, and he needed a name. _I can't believe the prick didn't think to give him a name._


	4. Trip on Love

Brian wasn't the type to agonize over a decision once it had been made. He did what he wanted or needed to do and that was that. This constant rethinking about whether to keep the kid or not was annoying the hell out of him. But he couldn't seem to accept that he'd made the right choice. Of course, he also couldn't convince himself he'd made the wrong one, either.

If he had any sense he'd give the kid to Deb. By this time she'd be thoroughly wrapped around the blond's finger and she'd be happy, eager even, to take the kid in until his family was found. She might even be willing to take him on permanently, if his parents couldn't be found.

And yet, it felt wrong to hand the kid over to someone else. There was a part of him that wanted...wanted...

Fuck that. He just didn't want to get on the wrong side of the law by abandoning the kid after agreeing to take responsibility for him. That was why he was reluctant to give the kid to Deb.

Mind made up, he took a deep breath and prepared himself for what was waiting behind the locked door of his loft. Debbie and the kid had been alone, together, for most of the day and he knew Debbie too well to not be worried.

When he finally opened the door, he found Debbie and the kid sitting on the couch watching cartoons on his TV. He looked around and didn't see any signs of destruction, so he focused back on his houseguests.

"Brian," the kid said and smiled brightly. "You're home."

"Brilliant deduction, Kid. What was your first clue?"

"Brian, don't be a dick," Debbie said. "Don't mind him, Sunshine. His people skills are lacking."

"My 'people skills' are just fine," Brian said and dropped his briefcase beside his desk. He tugged off his tie and then was struck by something that Debbie had just said.

"Sunshine? You named the kid 'Sunshine'? Are you nuts?"

"I kinda like it," 'Sunshine' said with a pout.

Brian looked over at the pint-sized superheroes on the TV screen kicking the shit out of a monkey in a cape and said, "Somehow, I'm not surprised," then headed off to change into something more comfortable.

When he was done, he grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and headed over to sit down on the couch next to Sunshine.

Deb grinned at him, taking in how close he was to his houseguest. "Why don't I just leave you two alone?"

Brian gave her a dirty look and said, "Don't leave on my account," in a falsely cheerful tone.

Debbie snickered and stood up. She ruffled Sunshine's hair and returned the bright smile he gave her. "I'll see you tomorrow, kiddo," she said and then gathered her stuff and left.

Once the door had closed behind her, Sunshine tipped his head back against the couch and looked at Brian. "She's nice."

"Yeah, she is," Brian grudging admitted in reply.

He leaned back, stretched his legs out, and closed his eyes. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept in over thirty hours and those had been some pretty active hours. He'd managed to pull off his last minute pitch, wowing the clients, and now all he wanted to do was sleep.

Mind foggy with exhaustion, he was vaguely aware of weight pressing against his side. He shifted his arm up and settled it over the weight. He heard a soft sigh and then nothing until a sharp, fearful cry woke him.

He jerked upright and nearly dumped Sunshine onto the floor. He grabbed on to the shaking blond and Sunshine responded by burying his face against Brian's chest. He wrapped his arms around the frightened boy and tried to figure out what to do. Comforting terrified children wasn't his thing.

After a few minutes Sunshine pulled himself together and sat up, wiping at his eyes. "Sorry," he said, without looking at Brian.

"Fuck that," he said, then softened the harsh words with, "What happened?"

"I don't...," Justin started then shrugged. "It was just a dream."

Brian arched an eyebrow. "Must have been some dream."

"I guess. I don't really remember."

Brian thought about pressing him. The kid might have remembered something, but before he could say anything he heard someone pounding on the door.

He thought about ignoring it and hoping whoever it was would go away, until he remembered that the cops were supposed to be stopping by.

He got up and walked over to the door leaving Sunshine on the couch. He unlocked the door and slid it open revealing Ramirez and O'Brien. O'Brien had a brown paper grocery bag in his arms, presumably with the clothing he'd promised. Brian waved them inside.

O'Brien shoved the bag into his arms. "There isn't much, but it should fit alright." He shrugged, "It's a few years old, though."

Brian dropped the bag onto the kitchen counter, then walked towards the couch where Ramirez was cooing over Sunshine. _And she used to be such a hard ass..._

An hour and a half later, Ramirez and O'Brien were gone, he felt like he'd signed his life away to the state after all the forms he'd filled out and signed, and Justin was in the shower cleaning up before changing into his new clothes.

What the hell had he been thinking? He'd adopted a kid for fuck's sake. A kid that he was having a really hard time thinking of as a kid, because all he wanted to do right now was strip off his clothes, climb into that shower with Sunshine, press him up against the shower door and fuck him into next week.

Lost in thought, Brian didn't notice Sunshine until he said, "Hey."

Brian looked up at his ward. "What the hell are you wearing?" It was like something out of a horror movie. In fact, he was pretty sure Sunshine was wearing the exact same outfit as the maniac in Nightmare on Elm Street.

Sunshine narrowed his eyes, crossed his arms in front of his chest, and said, "Jeans and a sweater." 

"They're too small," he said. And they were. The jeans, which were about twenty years out of date, ended above the kid's ankles and the sweater...Well, the sweater was so tight that Brian could see the outline of Sunshine's nipples through the threadbare fabric.

"I refuse to be seen in public with anyone who looks like that." _And, unless that sweater goes, fast, I'm going to be fucking your brains out -- underage amnesiac or not._ Brian willed his dick into submission with visions of Mel and Lindz going at it, then headed for the door. "Come on." He called over his shoulder. "We're going to get you something decent to wear, right now."

Not only didn't Sunshine argue, but he actually looked relieved. "Thank God," he said, "I look like a total freak," and quickly followed Brian out the door.

***

Generally speaking he wouldn't be caught dead in Torso, but considering what Sunshine was wearing he decided it was better to go there than to embarrass himself in one of the clothing stores where he usually shopped.

He guided a gape-jawed Sunshine towards the vibrant store, smirking at the boy's obvious amazement at the wide variety of crazy, colorful people.

He tapped the kid on the underside of his chin and said, "Close your mouth before someone sticks his dick in there."

Sunshine turned his wide-eyed stare onto Brian. "What? Would..." He narrowed his eyes. "You're full of shit."

Brian grinned. "You don't know these people the way I do. One look at that fuckable mouth, open and waiting, and there's no telling what a man might do."

Sunshine flushed bright red and turned away from Brian. After a moment he said, "You think I have a, a fuckable mouth?"

_Oh, yeah_ , Brian thought to himself. Out loud he said, "It's alright."

"Holy shit," Sunshine said and nearly gave himself whiplash craning his neck to follow a drag queen wearing a leather bustier, black lycra shorts, fire engine red spike heels, a rainbow colored wig, and enough makeup on her face to make Tammy Faye jealous.

Grateful for the distraction, Brian held back the sarcastic comment he wanted to make. They arrived at Torso a few seconds later and Brian tugged his awe-struck companion into the store.

They'd barely cleared the threshold before they were greeted by a typically exuberant Emmett. "Brian," Emmett squealed and bounced towards them.

"I can't believe my eyes. Brian Kinney couldn't _possibly_ be standing in my little old shop. A snobby, label queen such as he would _never_ stoop so low."

Having given Brian the proper dressing down, Emmett turned his attention to Sunshine. "Hello, honey. Where have you been hiding? You're adorable. Except, what happen to your beautiful face?" He reached out as if to touch the bruise on Sunshine's cheek and Sunshine moved out of reach. Brian gave Emmett a dirty look and momentarily rested a hand on Sunshine's shoulder.

Emmett, sensing he was treading on dangerous ground, wisely decided to let it drop. Looking over Sunshine's ensemble, he frowned. "Your clothing isn't adorable, though. Who dressed you, P.T. Barnum?"

Sunshine seemed to have gotten over his earlier unease and now looked slightly shell-shocked, a normal reaction of the uninitiated to the whirlwind that was Emmett Honeycut.

"Why the fuck do you think we're here? He needs something slightly more tolerable to wear, so we came here."

Emmett glanced at Brian and said, "Damned by faint praise," with a sniff. Attention back on Sunshine, he asked, "Are all his clothes like this?"

"These are all my clothes," Sunshine said, "Except for some hospital scrubs, of course. The clothes I was wearing were ruined."

Emmett looked confused. "I don't understand. Brian?"

"I've taken in a foundling and he came with nothing except the clothes on his back."

Emmett stared at Brian for a moment then grinned uneasily. He looked back and forth between Brian and Sunshine, grin widening. "This is a joke. Ha, ha. Real funny, guys."

"I wish it was a joke," Sunshine said and looked away, blinking back tears.

Emmett raised his hands to his mouth, distressed by Sunshine's misery. "I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't..." He reached out to lay a hand on Sunshine's shoulder, a touch that Sunshine allowed this time. "Let's get you some fabulous threads to wear. It'll make you feel like a whole new man."

"He doesn't need to be a whole new man. He needs a couple shirts and some pants. And nothing too outrageous," Brian said.

Emmett arched an eyebrow then nudged Sunshine with his shoulder. In a stage whisper he said, "I think he likes you, sweetie."

Brian glared at Emmett. "Don't give him ideas. He's only staying until he gets his memory back and then he's going home to Mommy and Daddy."

"'Gets his memory back'?" Emmett asked. "You've lost your memory? How terrible."

Sunshine shrugged and moved even closer to Brian, looking uncomfortable again.

"Enough with the drama," Brian said and draped his arm across Sunshine's shoulders. He steered Sunshine away from Emmett and deeper into the store. "Let's pick something quick, so we can get out of here before someone sees me in this place."

"Hmmph," Emmett said as he trailed behind them. "It could only improve your reputation to be seen in such a trendy shop and with such gorgeous men," he said as he latched onto Sunshine's arm and pulled him away from Brian.

"I know just the thing for you, sweetie." He led Sunshine over to a rack of clothes and sorted through them. "Ah, ha." He pulled out a shimmery, pale blue button down shirt that was nearly see through and held it to Sunshine's chest. "You'll look absolutely stunning in this." He pressed it into Sunshine's hands and moved them over to another rack where he repeated his earlier actions, this time flourishing a silver fish-net tee.

After handed it to a dubious Sunshine, he twirled his fingers and said, "Turn around for me."

When Sunshine looked over at him, Brian burst out laughing at the horrified confusion in the blond's expression.

"Thanks a lot," Sunshine said with a scowl. "I'm glad that I amuse you," he said and did as Emmett had requested.

Emmett let out a lust-filled sigh that stopped Brian's laughter. It was Brian's turn to glare as he turned Sunshine so that Emmett could no longer ogle the kid's ass. "Quit drooling and get the kid some pants to go with these shirts," Brian said, once again wrapping a possessive arm around Sunshine's shoulders.

"Fine," Emmett said with a huff and flounced off to grab a couple pairs of cargo pants. "Spoil a girl's fun, why don't you?"

"Are all your friends like that," Sunshine said in a low voice once Emmett had moved away.

"Hardly," Brian said with a snort. "Emmett's one of a kind."

"Thank God."

Brian chuckled and gave Sunshine's shoulders a squeeze. He looked down and found himself captured by bright, blue eyes. The laughter died in his throat and without conscious thought he found himself leaning closer to the young man in his arms.

"Here you go," Emmett said and thrust the cargo pants at Sunshine, breaking the spell. Brian abruptly pulled away and Sunshine stumbled when the man he'd been leaning against was suddenly half way across the room.

Emmett looked back and forth between them. "Oops. Did I interrupt something?"

"No," Brian barked out. "Go try on that stuff, Sunshine, see if it fits."

"Um, ok." Turning to Emmett, he asked, "Where's the changing room?"

"Right this way, hun," Emmett said and guided him to the back of the store.

He returned a few seconds later and grinned at Brian. "Sunshine? Who'd have thunk it -- Brian Kinney using cute little pet names."

"The fuck I am. He has amnesia, Emmett; he doesn't remember his name. Debbie's the one who saddled him with 'Sunshine'."

Emmett shook his head sadly. "I can't even imagine...that poor kid. He must be terrified." He shook a finger in Brian's face. "You better treat him right. He's in a very fragile state right now. The last thing he needs is to have you acting like a total shit."

"What the fuck do you know about his state of mind?"

"I have eyes. And a heart, unlike you. I can feel his pain," Emmett said, clasping his hands together and bringing them up to rest over his heart.

"You're so full of shit."

"I am not."

"Hey." Brian and Emmett ended their standoff when Sunshine spoke and they turned to look him over.

"You are just too delicious," Emmett breathed.

Taking in the vision in front of him, Brian agreed. Emmett had chosen well. The pale colored shirt clung to Sunshine's chest and abs and flowed loosely along his arms and sides, alternately revealing and hiding the body beneath. _Breathtaking._

"Thanks," Sunshine said and blushed.

Forcing himself to stop acting like a love-struck school girl, Brian said, "It's fine for the clubs, but he sure as hell can't wear it to Deb's tomorrow. You have anything more practical?"

Emmett gave him a dirty look and walked over to Sunshine. "Ignore him, sweetie, he's just jealous. When the guys get a look at you, dressed like this, they won't even know he exists."

"That'll be the day," Brian said and crossed his arms. "I'm the best fuck in Pittsburgh and everyone knows it."

"I don't," Sunshine said.

Emmett laughed.

"You don't know much of anything," Brian said.

"Trust me, sweetie, you're better off not knowing. Now, we have some absolutely lovely tees that would be perfect for you. I'll just go get them," Emmett said and walked away.

Sunshine cocked his head to the side and stared at Brian. "What?" Brian said, irritably.

"I'm trying to decide if Emmett's right."

"Trust me. You're not hotter than I am. No one is."

"I don't know," Sunshine said and looked down at himself. "I look incredible in this shirt. I'd fuck me."

"Not possible, Sunshine. You'd only hurt yourself, if you tried."

Sunshine rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant."

Brian flashed his tongue-in-cheek smirk and said, "I know."

"Here you go, sweetie," Emmett said, when he returned, and handed Sunshine a large bag with handles and Torso's logo splashed across it.

Brian immediately grabbed the bag and reached in to look at what Emmett had selected. He'd be damned if he let Sunshine run around in the kind of shit that Emmett wore.

"Hey, those are mine," Sunshine said and tried to retrieve his clothing.

"Uh,uh, Sunshine. I'm paying for them so they're mine."

Sunshine subsided with a pout, but Emmett couldn't resist saying, "I don't think they'll fit you."

"Shut up," Brian said and looked over the three shirts -- plain colors, no outrageous sayings. Good enough. He handed the bag back to Sunshine and reached into his pocket for his wallet. Pulling out his gold card, he handed it to Emmett and Emmett trotted off to ring up their purchases.

Sunshine glanced into the bag then closed it without really looking at the contents. "Aren't you curious?" Brian asked.

Sunshine shrugged. "They're not mine, so what does it matter?"

"Don't be such a baby."

Sunshine ignored that and held the bag out to Brian. "Do you want me to change into something else? Because I will. Your clothes, your choice."

"For fuck's sake," Brian said. He was about to cave in and tell Sunshine that the clothes were his when he saw the kid trying to stifle a grin. So, he reached over and smacked the kid upside the head instead.

"Asshole," Brian said.

"Shame on you, Brian," Emmett said as he approached with Brian's card and sales slip. He handed the slip and a pen to Brian for his signature then reached over to gently rub Sunshine's head. "Picking on this poor, sick child."

Sunshine looked torn between annoyance at being called a sick child and milking the sympathy for all it was worth. Normally, Brian would have let him suffer, but he didn't like the way Emmett was pawing at the kid. So, he pulled Emmett off then used Sunshine's back as a table to sign the sales slip.

When that was done, he sneered at Emmett's laughing face and hauled Sunshine out of the store. "Now do you see why I never go in there? Fuck."

"I liked Emmett. He's nice."

Brian stopped their forward motion so that he could glare more effectively. "Emmett's not nice. Emmett's a slut. Stay away from him."

Sunshine's eyes widened in shock. "You sound jealous," he accused.

Brian stared at him for a moment, then, "I don't do jealousy," he said as he started walking again. "I especially don't get jealous over some teenage kid with brain damage."

"Hey, wait up," Sunshine said, scrambling to keep up with Brian's long-legged stride. "I'm sorry for saying you were jealous. I didn't mean to insult you or piss you off. I was just saying...but obviously I was wrong. Totally wrong. Completely wrong. So wrong that I wasn't..."

Brian clamped a hand over Sunshine's mouth to stop the frantic babbling. "Apology accepted. Don't do it again," he said and removed his hand.

"OK. I won't. Where to now?"

"Now we go home," Brian said and started walking again. "I have some work that I need to do."

***

Brian leaned back in his chair and raised his clasped hands over his head, stretching his body to ease the tension in his back. He glanced down at the clock at the bottom of the computer screen and saw that he'd been working, non-stop, for almost three hours.

He was surprised, not because he'd worked so long, but because Sunshine hadn't disturbed him. He looked around and spotted the kid sitting on the floor, leaning against the front of the couch. His knees were drawn up and he was resting a large pad against them. Brian watched the pencil in Sunshine's hand move across the paper and, curious, he walked over to see what the kid was doing.

He leaned over and saw that Sunshine was sketching a portrait of Emmett. It was a near perfect likeness of the flamboyant man that Sunshine had only known for a few hours. The kid had a great eye and a lot of talent. Though, he wondered why Sunshine was drawing Emmett instead of someone else -- someone that he would be more familiar with.

Sunshine was so lost in his drawing that he didn't even notice Brian standing over him until Brian spoke. "That's not half bad."

Sunshine jumped and his pencil scratched a dark, jagged line across the paper. "Fuck," he said and flipped the pencil to the eraser side in order to repair the damage. "Didn't anyone teach you not to sneak up on people? Shit. Do you know how long it's gonna take me to fix this? I was almost done."

"First of all I didn't 'sneak'; I walked. It's not my fault you weren't paying attention. And didn't anyone teach _you_ not to be a rude shit to someone who just paid you a compliment?"

"What compliment?" Sunshine said with a scowl. "I didn't hear any compliment."

"Then you weren't listening."

Sunshine tossed the sketch pad and pencil onto the coffee table and looked up at Brian. "Did you want something?"

Brian ignored the question in favor of grabbing up the sketch pad. He flipped back to the first page and began looking through all the sketches. There were dozens of drawings, some filled a whole page, others shared space, all of them showed how talented the artist was. 

"Did you do all of these today?" Brian asked knowing full well that wasn't possible. There were too many drawings to have been done in one day.

"No."

"Have you looked at them? They might trigger your memory."

Sunshine shrugged.

Brian held out the sketch pad, displaying a drawing of a dark-skinned girl. "What about her? Does she look familiar?"

Sunshine stood up without even looking at the picture. "Back off."

"What the fuck is your problem? Don't you want to know who the hell you are?"

"You're certainly eager to get rid of me," Sunshine said, voice sullen and arms crossed.

Pissed at the kid's inexplicable stubbornness, Brian said, "Of course I am. I didn't adopt you, kid. I took you in, _temporarily_ , until the people who are actually responsible for you can be found."

"What if they don't want to be found? Or, or what if I don't want them to find me? Maybe they beat me or something. Maybe I forgot them because I wanted to."

Brian stayed silent for a moment before asking, "Is that what you really think?"

Sunshine snuffled and rubbed a hand under his nose. He didn't say anything, just shrugged.

Brian shrugged back mockingly. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I don't know," Sunshine shouted at him. "I don't know anything," he said and fled into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Well, that went well," Brian said and dropped the sketch pad onto the couch.

Unsure about what to do, he absently looked around the loft, hoping for inspiration. His eyes briefly landed on the phone, but he quickly dismissed the thought of calling Debbie. He had a feeling Sunshine needed a more delicate touch than Debbie was capable of.

With a sigh he headed into the bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door. "Are you alright in there?"

"I'm fine," was the muffled response.

"Look, I...," Brian hesitated then continued, "stay in there as long as you need to, kid."

He wandered back out to the kitchen and picked up then dropped one of the leftover cartons of Chinese that they'd had for dinner. What he needed right now was to get his mind off this whole fucked up mess. Only he couldn't. He couldn't just leave the kid here while he went out to Babylon or the Baths to find a willing hole to fuck and getting high was out of the question.

"She looked like someone I should know, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't remember her name or how I knew her or anything. All I got was a headache, so I gave up."

Brian turned to face the miserable young man standing behind him. "It'll come back to you, kid; it's just going to take time."

"Yeah, but what if it takes too much time. You're not going to let me stay here forever. What happens to me then?"

"Don't worry about it right now. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Brian said and took Sunshine into his arms. Sunshine responded to the hug by wrapping his arms tightly around Brian's shoulders and burying his face in Brian's neck. Holding Sunshine felt strangely familiar and far too comfortable for Brian's peace of mind. He wanted to pull away, get as far from Sunshine as he could, but he didn't because Sunshine needed him.

What the hell was happening to him?


	5. Trip on Love

**A/N:** I took a little creative liberty with the layout of Brian's loft.

* * *

_"Look what we have here, boys. Isn't he pretty?"_

_"Let me go. Please."_

_"Get out of my house!"_

_"Please..."_

_"Fucking faggot."_

_"Shut up and take it like a man."_

_Sinister chuckle, bright explosion of pain and..._

He burst into wakefulness with a scream. Disoriented and panic-stricken he scrambled upright, tangling in the blanket wrapped around his waist and legs, and hit the floor with a solid thump. Stunned, he lay there for a minute, trying to get his bearings and calm his pounding heart.

And nearly stroked out when he felt hands on his shoulders. Without thinking, he struck out, but connected with nothing but air.

"Sunshine, calm down."

He stopped trying to get away when he recognized the voice. Brian. Brian wouldn't hurt him. Brian was his friend, right? He wasn't like the _others_ , the ones in his dream, the ones that wanted to hurt him, the ones that _had_ hurt him. He shuddered violently, remembering the terror that had filled his nightmare.

He sat up against the couch, breathless and shaking from his earlier fright, and took stock of his surroundings. It was late, or early, because it was pitch dark -- except for faint light coming in through the windows from the street lights outside.

He was in Brian's loft and had been sleeping on the couch. Until the nightmare had woken him.

He blinked his suddenly watery eyes and focused on the nearby Brian-shaped silhouette. "Brian?"

"Right here."

Sunshine reached out and connected with warm skin. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Sorry's bullshit."

Brian gripped Sunshine's hand in his and said, "That was one hell of a nightmare, kid."

"Yeah, it was."

There was silence for a moment, then, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Sunshine shuddered again at the thought of reliving that horrifying dream. " _Hell_ no."

He heard a chuckle. "Well, when you put it like that..." There was another short pause and then a sigh. "I don't suppose you'll be getting back to sleep anytime soon," Brian said.

Sunshine flushed, embarrassed. Brian certainly hadn't bargained on the kid he'd been nice enough to take in waking him up in the middle of the night like some scared infant. "I'll be fine," he said and tried to get his hand back, but Brian held on tight. "You should go back to bed; it's," he looked around for a digital clock and spotted the one on the VCR, "three a.m."

He felt Brian's shrug through their joined hands. "I've gotten by on less sleep than this. Actually, considering how early I went to bed, I _usually_ get by on less sleep than this."

Brian fumbled around on the coffee table for a moment then shifted over until he was stretched out on the couch and tugged Sunshine up next to him. The TV came on with a burst of light, blaring out the sound of some late night infomercial until Brian changed the channel.

Sunshine tentatively snuggled in closer and breathed in the scent of the man he rested against. Brian smelled good, like ginger and scotch and something uniquely Brian. The feel of warm, supple skin pressed up against his own was strange and exciting. He shivered, but not in fear this time. He'd never felt this way before. At least, he didn't think he ever had. It was frightening and exhilarating all at once. He never wanted it to end; he wanted it to end immediately; he wanted something, something... _more_.

Brian, apparently oblivious to Sunshine's inner turmoil and burgeoning arousal, eventually settled on one of the classic movie channels, dropping the remote onto the floor, and while Brian watched the black and white people on the screen Sunshine watched Brian.

Amnesia and nightmares weren't so bad -- not when he was here in Brian's arms.

***

Caught up in the movie, Brian forgot all about his surroundings until the camera panned down to show one final glimpse of two flower leis floating away on moonlit, ocean waters.

_From Here to Eternity_ was one of his all time favorites. Abusive drunks, heroes with feet of clay, and an unhappily ever after ending -- it perfectly reflected his own personal view of how life really worked.

And, it was a timely reminder. He looked down at the innocent-looking blond wrapped around him and couldn't stop himself from stroking a finger over one downy cheek. He could do something really foolish, like fall in love, if he wasn't careful. So, it was important to remember that fairy tales were just that, fairy tales.

And yet, he still felt a thrill just watching Sunshine sleep. (Despite what they'd both believed Sunshine had quickly fallen asleep again.) And it wasn't the kind of thrill that got his dick hard and his pulse racing. This was something mellower, warmer -- more dangerous. It had started when he'd first laid eyes on the kid and had only gotten stronger in the hours since.

He'd actually enjoyed himself during their impromptu shopping trip this evening. Something that had started out as a necessary evil had turned into an enjoyable experience. He grinned, remembering the way Sunshine had pouted so prettily every time Brian teased or harassed him and the way the kid had given back as good as he'd gotten.

He'd enjoyed his time with Sunshine more than he'd thought possible.

Definitely dangerous.

He let his hand cup Sunshine's bare shoulder and lightly stroked his thumb back and forth across warm, satin skin. His thoughts drifted to another, more sinister, part of the night and being awakened by Sunshine's terrified screams.

He had a feeling it was a memory, not a nightmare, that had frightened Sunshine so badly. But, a memory of what? The attack that had left him with amnesia? Or something else?

And, what if the kid never remembered who he was and the cops never found his missing family? Brian wasn't interested in becoming a father to some underage twink -- especially not one that aroused him so easily. He'd never last as a benign guardian, not when he so badly wanted to be the lecherous seducer.

Maybe Debbie could take Sunshine in. She'd obviously fallen under the kid's spell and she had all those over developed maternal instincts that she was forever turning on unsuspecting people. She'd probably be thrilled to look after Sunshine.

It was a good plan, but it could wait a couple more days. If the nightmare tonight was a result of returning memories then moving Sunshine into Debbie's wouldn't be necessary. And, the last thing the kid needed right now was to be dumped into another unfamiliar place. He was comfortable here.

So, it was decided. Sunshine would stay right where he was.

But only temporarily. A week...or two at the most. Unless he needed to be at the loft longer.

He carefully shifted his body until he was more comfortably stretched out along the length of the couch, making sure that he didn't wake the blond in his arms. He reached over and pulled the blanket off the floor and covered them both.

His last thoughts as he drifted off to sleep were: _this is where he belongs, in my arms_ and _so incredibly dangerous_.

***

Brian was doing his best to not laugh out loud at his awe-struck companion. Despite being introduced to Liberty Ave. last night, Sunshine was once again gaping, wide-eyed, at the outrageous people moving in the street. Although, once they'd gotten out of the jeep to go into the diner, Sunshine had done his best to keep his cool -- either because he didn't want to appear rude or didn't want to look like a hick.

Either way, it was impossible to keep the smile off his face and Sunshine cuffed Brian in the stomach with the back of a hand when he noticed. "Stop laughing at me."

"I'm not laughing at you, Sunshine. I'm enjoying your enthusiasm."

"Bullshit," was the pithy reply.

"You wound me," Brian said, trying to look insulted, but failing.

"I'll..."

"Yoo hoo, boys! Over here," they both heard coming from the back of the diner. They looked in the direction of the voice and saw Emmett, sitting in a back booth, waving his arms and grinning. 

"Emmett," Sunshine called out and scampered over to join the showy queen.

Brian's good mood evaporated when Sunshine deserted him and he headed for the back booth at a more dignified pace. As he walked, he noted that Emmett wasn't alone. Ted was next to Emmett, pressed up against the wall now that Emmett had tugged Sunshine down onto the end of their seat, and Michael was opposite them, turning his head back and forth between Brian and Sunshine.

When Brian reached the booth, he grabbed onto the sleeve of the dove grey Henley Sunshine wore and tugged the blond out of Emmett's clutches. Still holding on, he dropped down next to Michael and pulled Sunshine onto his lap. Sunshine settled in, without making a single protest, like he'd been sitting in Brian's lap for years and Brian smirked at Emmett, barely resisting the urge to capture Sunshine's lips in a possessive kiss.

Ted looked like he was about to make a snide comment of some sort and, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Michael getting ready to burst. But they were beaten to it by Debbie.

"Sunshine," she called out and smothered Sunshine in a perfume scented hug.

"Christ, Deb, you're gonna suffocate the kid."

Debbie released Sunshine and smacked Brian on the shoulder with her order pad. "Hush up, you. I'm saying hello to the newest member of our dysfunctional little family."

Michael finally broke and said, "What the fuck is going on here? Who's he? And since when did he become a member of the family?"

"Don't you know anything?" Emmett said, like Sunshine's story was the most obvious thing in the world, "This is Sunshine. Brian saved his life the other night and now Sunshine can't remember who he is, so they're living together. Oh, and Debbie named him and I picked out that yummy shirt he's wearing. And the pants, too."

"You're shitting me."

"Nope. Cross my heart, hope to die," Emmett said then held up his hand and made a show of drawing an imaginary X over his chest.

Michael looked over at Brian. "Is that true?"

"Mostly," Brian replied.

"Poor kid's been through hell," Debbie said to no one in particular and ruffled Sunshine's hair. "I thought you were going to drop him off at the house?"

"He needed to eat," Brian said, although it wasn't even remotely close to the truth. He couldn't care less if the kid ate breakfast or not. (Anyway, Vic could feed him once he got to the house) The real reason why they were here was too disturbing to contemplate.

He wanted to spend as much time with Sunshine as he could.

"Damn straight. No one should go without a nice, hearty breakfast in the morning -- something you still haven't learned. How anyone can get through the morning on coffee alone never ceases to amaze me."

"That's me, amazing, and speaking of coffee...," Brian said, grateful for the escape from his morbid thoughts, and wiggled the empty coffee cup in front of him.

"It's coming -- as soon as I get your orders. Now, what'll it be boys?"

***

Sunshine watched Debbie head off to put in their orders and tried to ignore the dark-haired man who hadn't stopped giving him dirty looks since Brian had pulled him onto his lap.

He shifted uneasily on Brian's knee and wished desperately that there was somewhere for him to go so he could get off Brian and away from the angry man.

"Will you quit twitching?" Brian said waspishly.

"Sorry," Sunshine mumbled and then froze when he felt something hard poking him in the ass. His eyes widened and he couldn't help rolling his hips, pressing down onto what could only be Brian's hardened dick.

Brian tightened his grip on Sunshine's waist and slid his hands down towards Sunshine's crotch. He felt his own dick harden at the contact and waited breathlessly to see if Brian would dare to keep going.

_//Flash//_

_Brian slowly slid his hand down and closed his fingers over Sunshine's dick and Sunshine moaned softly at the delicious contact, pressing up into the hand enclosing him. Brian began to rub the cloth covered steel, heightening Sunshine's pleasure and bringing him closer to release with every stroke._

_He began to thrust his hips in time to Brian's strokes, feeling the press of Brian's own hardened flesh against his ass with every downward thrust. He began to push down harder, longing for more._

_When Brian's hand was withdrawn, he whimpered, but quickly realized that Brian wasn't stopping. Instead, he unzipped Sunshine's pants and reached down to continue his stroking against Sunshine's naked cock. He bit his lip to keep from crying out his pleasure and wished that they could..._

_//Flash//_

"What the fuck is going on here?" 

Sunshine nearly bolted from the booth before he realized that the comment wasn't related to his incredibly detailed and arousing daydream. He tried to calm his pounding heart and will his rock hard dick into subsiding before anyone noticed the state he was in.

He felt one of Brian's hands squeeze his hip and looked back into dilated hazel eyes. Realizing Brian had noticed his hard-on, Sunshine blushed and tried to pull away, but Brian wouldn't let him.

And then it hit him like a sledgehammer -- Brian wanted him.

His lips parted on a nearly soundless gasp and he watched as Brian's powerful gaze focused in on his mouth. He licked his lips and held still, widened eyes locked on Brian's face as Brian leaned in closer.

Brian was going to kiss him. He was sure of it and he couldn't wait. He wanted it so badly.

What would Brian's lips feel like? What would he taste like? Would it be as incredible as he believed?

"Brian. Hey," the jerk next to them said, snapping them both out of the lust fueled daze they were in, and Brian leaned back, eyes shifting away from Sunshine and over to his friend. 

Sunshine nearly screamed in frustration. He was now hard enough to pound nails and he wasn't even going to get kissed. He glared at the prick and the prick glared back.

"Since when do you collect brain damaged children from hospital wards?"

"He's not brain damaged," Debbie said defensively and began filling everyone's coffee cups from the pot she'd just arrived with. "He just doesn't remember some stuff. Sunshine's still smart as a whip and you should see the pictures he draws. Kid's gonna be a famous artist some day, you just wait and see."

Sunshine blushed again at the praise and smiled up at Debbie. She smiled back and pinched his uninjured cheek. "You are such a cutie," she said. She then shook her finger at the prick and said, "Play nice, Michael," before walking away.

Michael subsided at that point and quit glaring. He also quit talking altogether, refusing to participate in the conversation during breakfast. While stuffing his face with a plate full of scrambled eggs, bacon, home fries, and toast, Sunshine learned a little more about Brian and his friends. He listened intently, soaking it all up. He wanted to hear everything there was to know about the beautiful man that he now knew he was falling in love with.

***

Brian swore quietly and dropped the file that he'd been not-reading onto the desk in front of him. He looked over at the clock and leaned back tiredly in his chair. He'd been sitting here for over two hours and had yet to get anything done. 

He just couldn't concentrate -- at least, not on work. He didn't seem to have any trouble concentrating on a certain blond teenager, though. He kept reliving those brief moments in the diner when he'd held that strong, young body in his arms, when he'd felt Sunshine's arousal, and when he'd nearly given in to his desires and captured those inviting lips in a hungry kiss.

He'd wanted to bury his cock in that sweet, tight ass pressed against his dick and he'd seen the matching desire in Sunshine's eyes. He knew, without a doubt, that he could walk out of here right now, collect Sunshine from Deb's, take him back to the loft and fuck his brains out and not only wouldn't Sunshine object, he'd beg for more. It would be hot and wild and...terrifying.

Because he didn't think he'd be able to stop with just one taste, just one night. This kid wasn't just a trick. He was more and Brian had promised himself to never, ever go there. He'd seen the bullshit they called "love" and wanted nothing to do with it.

But, maybe, there was a way around it -- a way to get what he wanted, what they both wanted, without falling into that trap. They could be friends with benefits or something uniquely their own. There was no need for labels or definitions, especially since Sunshine might regain his memories at any moment, making this whole mental exercise moot.

Would he like the real Sunshine? Would Sunshine like him?

They might never see each other again once Sunshine's memory returned. He felt his breath catch at the thought. He didn't want to lose the beautiful, spirited young man.

And he wasn't going to. He was Brian fucking Kinney, after all, and what Brian Kinney wanted, he got. He was going to bind that kid to him so thoroughly that Sunshine would never be able to walk away, no matter what.

Decision made, Brian didn't waste any time packing up and heading out of the office. He told his assistant, Cynthia, to reschedule any meetings he might have and headed for Debbie's to collect his twink.

***

Brian rang the bell and waited patiently for someone to answer the door. He couldn't remember the last time he'd wanted something as badly as he wanted Sunshine and now that he was finally going to have him all his agitation had vanished.

When the door opened he said, "Hey, Vic. I'm here to pick up Sunshine."


	6. Trip on Love

"Do you always eat take out?" Sunshine said between bites of his second bacon double cheeseburger. How he managed to eat like that and still look as hot as he did amazed Brian. 

"No. Sometimes I eat at the diner or I wine and dine clients," Brian said. He took one last bite of his salad and contemplated life. His plan to whisk Sunshine back to the loft and have his wicked way with the kid had been delayed by a loudly rumbling stomach and a plaintive request for food.

So, they'd gotten a fast food lunch and this inane conversation when all he wanted to do was rip the kid's clothes off and fuck him into tomorrow.

"Wow. Isn't that expensive?"

"I can afford it."

Brian tossed what was left of his salad into the trash and watched Sunshine finish inhaling the last of his fries. "You keep eating like that and you're going to get fat."

"I will not," Sunshine said defensively and pouted up at Brian. "I need the calories because I'm still growing. All teenagers eat like this."

"And how would you know that," Brian asked with a grin.

"Debbie told me."

"Debbie would know."

Sunshine sucked on the plastic straw in his soda cup taking in the last few swallows of Coke then gathered his trash and threw it away. Brian watched, like the predator he was. The waiting was over; the boy had now been fed and it was time to burn off a few calories.

He licked his lips and moved in closer, so when Sunshine straightened and turned away from the basket he found himself nearly plastered against Brian's chest.

"Bri...," he started, but never finished. Instead, Brian captured Sunshine's mouth in a kiss that started gentle, but quickly turned hungry. He'd been fantasizing about this mouth for the past two days.

Sunshine's eager, if untrained, response proved that he'd been doing some fantasizing of his own.

Brian pulled away from the kiss and looked into Sunshine's eyes. For a moment, his conscience warred with his libido. He was over a decade older than the teenager in his arms; he shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be taking advantage.

"Brian? D...did I do something wrong. I..."

"No," Brian said, hating the apprehension and embarrassment in those wide blue eyes. "I want you."

"I want you too. Just...I don't know what to do."

Discarding his misgivings with the ease of long practice, Brian said, "I'll show you," and moved backwards, putting a few feet between himself and Sunshine.

With a seductive smile he began to strip. He watched Sunshine's eyes dilate and his breathing deepen and felt his own respiration and heart rate speed up.

Sunshine swallowed hard and Brian followed the motion of Sunshine's adam's apple with his eyes, mentally tracing a path along the slender column of flesh. 

He was so caught up in his erotic thoughts that he didn't notice, at first, when Sunshine removed his shirt. When he did he had to work to keep his fingers from fumbling. He licked his lips and finished removing his clothes, stepping out of the trousers of an $800 suit and kicking them away without caring that they were crumpled in a heap on the floor. He'd never been turned on so fast and so intense in his life; it had been all he could do to not come in his pants. 

He closed the distance between them and tangled his fingers with Sunshine's at the zipper holding the cargo pants closed. "Allow me," he said, breathing the words into Sunshine's ear before taken the lobe between his teeth in a gentle bite.

Sunshine shuddered deliciously and Brian chuckled around the flesh in his mouth.

"Brian," Sunshine moaned and arched his back to press his hardened dick into closer contact with the back of Brian's hand.

"Patience, Sunshine. We've got all afternoon. And night."

"Fuck patience."

"I'd rather fuck you," Brian said and used his grip on Sunshine's pants to pull their bodies flush against one another. Cock brushed against cloth covered cock and they both moaned before their lips found each other again in another heated series of deep, wet kisses.

Brian opened Sunshine's pants and started to push them off. He stopped, momentarily shocked by the lack of underwear.

"Bri," Sunshine murmured against his lips. "Don't stop."

Brian released the pants and gave Sunshine's cock a single stroke. "Naughty, naughty boy -- walking around without underwear," Brian said against kiss swollen lips.

"Don't have any," Sunshine said and finished the job of removing his pants.

Brian flashed back to yesterday, now knowing that all that time...

He slid his hands around to cup Sunshine's ass and remembered having that ass perched in his lap that morning. He squeezed the firm, round cheeks and slid an index finger down the crack to stroke softly over the puckered opening.

Sunshine tensed and then relaxed, allowing the contact until Brian withdrew his hands. He reached up to clasp Sunshine's hands in his own and began to move them towards the bedroom. "Let's take this someplace more comfortable."

Sunshine nodded and allowed himself to be led up to the king size bed. When they reached it he turned them so that Sunshine's back was to the bed and waited. He wanted this to be Sunshine's decision; he had to make the next move -- and he did.

After looking deeply into Brian's eyes for several long seconds, he sank down onto the bed pulling Brian down with him by their still joined hands. Brian raised their arms up over Sunshine's head and leaned in for another kiss. Pressing his knee between Sunshine's thighs, he spread the slender legs beneath him and covered his lover's body with his own. 

Once again hardened cocks clashed, but this time there were no barriers and they both moaned at the contact. Their hips thrust involuntarily, causing their sweat and pre-cum slicked flesh to glide along each other's and over tightened abdominals.

After several thrusts, Brian lifted his body, breaking the contact. He didn't want either of them to come like this. He released Sunshine's hands and reached down to raise the blond's legs onto his shoulders.

He felt Sunshine tense again and paused, waiting. But Sunshine quickly relaxed with a long, shaky breath. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just...go slow. OK?"

Brian leaned down and licked his way into another rewarding kiss, only this kiss was more about reassurance and affection than lust. It shocked him and caused a frisson of foreboding to ripple along his skin.

He ignored it, too far gone, too needy to heed any warning that he might be getting in too deep. He pulled back to gather up a condom and some lube, feeling the heat of his lover's eyes following his every move. And he shuddered again -- only this time the cause was intense lust, something he was far more comfortable with.

Eyes locked on Sunshine's, he ripped the condom packet open with his teeth and watched Sunshine nervously clench and then unclench his hands. He wanted to feel those hands tightening around his own flesh, so he handed the condom to Sunshine and said, "Put it on me."

Sunshine bit his lip and hesitated, eyes flicking down to Brian's swollen member, then reached down to slide the condom over Brian's dick.

Brian's muscles clenched in an effort to hold himself still and he pushed Sunshine's hand away when he seemed inclined to linger, sliding callused fingertips over and around the latex covered length.

They'd give each other hand jobs later; right now, he wanted to feel that tight ass clenching around his dick as he pounded into it over and over again.

He opened the lube and coated his fingers, dropped the tube onto the bed, and pressed a single finger inside Sunshine's body. He felt the muscles tighten at the intrusion and said, "Relax. I'm going to make you feel so good."

Sunshine breathed out a lungful of air and relaxed the sphincter gripping Brian's finger. Brian pressed in deeper reaching for Sunshine's prostate. He knew he'd found it when his finger brushed over a small nub and Sunshine arched his back and called out Brian's name in shocked delight.

"Told you it would feel good," he said with a smug grin and added a second finger, scissoring them back and forth to stretch the virgin opening. After several seconds, he added a third finger, wanting to ensure that his lover felt as little pain as possible -- although, he knew he couldn't make it completely painless, not the first time.

He felt sweat dripping down his forehead and neck and took several deep breaths trying to keep himself under control, to push back the need to be inside ( _right now_ ) the beautiful young man beneath him.

He slipped his fingers out and Sunshine groaned at the loss. "Ready," he asked as he positioned his eager dick at Sunshine's hole.

"Yes," Sunshine said in a husky, needy voice. "Please."

He smiled widely and pushed in slowly, quickly raising one of his hands off the bed to press down on his balls and stop himself from coming right then and there. He hadn't been this out of control and desperate since he'd been a teenager himself.

He continued to slide slowly inside and watched Sunshine close his eyes and tightly grip the sheets. He opened his mouth on a gasp and said, "It...hurts."

Brian stopped, buried balls deep inside the hottest, tightest place he'd ever been and clenched his own hands in the sheets.

"Does it always hurt?"

"Yeah, but that's part of it," he said, waiting for Sunshine to adjust to his invasion.

When Brian felt Sunshine press his hips up, he let go. Pulling almost completely out, he drove back in with a powerful thrust.

All pretense of control gone, he plunged into that tight ass again and again, shifting the angle until he hit Sunshine's prostate with ever thrust. Sunshine cried out and reached up to dig his fingers into Brian's scalp and shoulder, panting and hanging on for dear life. Unable to resist, Brian leaned down and, without breaking rhythm snatched another hungry, almost violent kiss from reddened lips.

It was too passionate, too fierce to last and it didn't. Within seconds he felt Sunshine's tunnel constrict around his cock and the splash of wet, sticky fluid on his chest and neck.

The tight grip of those muscles on his dick overwhelmed him completely and, with one final thrust that buried him as deep inside Sunshine's body as he could go, he, too, exploded into climax.

When the lights stopped flashing behind his tightly closed eyelids, Brian unlocked his elbows and rolled to the side. He pulled off the condom, tossed it towards the trash, and gathered up Sunshine's limp, sated body. As he drifted off, he didn't worry or even wonder about how right it felt to hold Sunshine close.


	7. Trip on Love

_"Justin!"_

_"Stop running from me, 'cause I'm not running from you. I'm still your mother and you're still my son and I still love you."_

Justin opened his eyes, confused and lost until he felt a hand settle on his cheek. He looked into the warm hazel eyes of the man whose chest he was stretched out on and blurted out, "Justin."

"No. Brian," Brian said with a grin.

Sunshine shook his head and sat up. "I think my name's Justin."

Brian sat up, too, eyes now intent and focused. "You remembered something."

"Yeah. A blonde woman. She was telling me that I was her son and she loved me, but...I..." Justin stopped and looked down at his clasped hands. He didn't like the way the dream had left him feeling. "I think she lied. I don't know why, but I feel like she abandoned me."

"Don't worry about it," Brian said and wrapped a hand around the back of Justin's neck, pulling him into another one of the mind-numbingly erotic kisses that he excelled at.

Grateful for the distraction, Justin melted into the kiss and allowed himself to be pulled back down onto the bed.

"Time for another lesson," Brian said and rolled them over so that Brian was now stretched out on top of him.

They kissed again, tongues dueling and teeth clashing until Brian pulled away to trail a series of nipping kisses down Justin's throat and chest. Stopping at Justin's nipple, Brian sucked the nub into his mouth and swirled his tongue around the peaked flesh.

Justin arched up into the contact and raised a hand to cover the back of Brian's head. Lost in the almost too intense sensation, he wasn't sure whether to pull Brian away of push him in closer.

He wrapped a leg around Brian's thigh and pulled their bodies in close together. He thrust his hips, rubbing his awakened cock into his lover's abs and moaned at the exquisite contact.

Brian released the left nipple and turned his attention to the other, replacing tongue with teeth and biting down -- sending an electric pulse directly from Justin's nipple to his dick.

"Fuck. Brian."

Brian raised his head and smirked. "Not this time, Sunshine." Turning his attention back to Justin's chest he began to lick and nibble his way down to Justin's navel. Stopping there, he repeatedly jabbed his tongue into the indentation, causing Justin to arch up and whimper.

"Liked that did you?" Brian said wickedly and blew gently across the dampened skin beneath him.

"Yes," Justin cried out. Wanting...wanting...

He ran his hands restlessly over every inch of Brian that he could reach and waited eagerly for whatever would come next.

Brian shifted lower and hooked his hands under Justin's knees, spreading his legs. After one last glance up at Justin's face, he leaned in and bit down on Justin's inner thigh.

Justin's dick throbbed and he reached down to wrap his hand around it, needing to come.

But Brian stopped him, gripping Justin's hand in his and pressing it back down onto the mattress. "No."

He bit into his lip hard enough to draw blood, but subsided and Brian rewarded him with a wide, slow swipe of his tongue from the base of his dick to its tip.

He sucked in a desperate breath and tightened his grip on the hand that continued to hold his own captive.

And then Brian's mouth swallowed him whole and he screamed, arching his hips up into that hot, wet cavern and came violently.

Brian milked him dry and then, with one final lick, released his softened flesh and moved back up to stretch out at Justin's side.

He lay there completely wasted, not yet coherent enough to be embarrassed by his lack of control, until he felt Brian move their still joined hands over to Brian's still hard dick. 

Knowing what Brian wanted, he immediately wrapped his hand around the silky flesh that he'd covered in latex the first time they made love. He allowed Brian's hand to guide him into the proper rhythm to maximize his lover's pleasure. 

And he loved it, loved the feel of hardened flesh and the look of pure bliss on Brian's face. He was certain he'd love the taste of that hardened flesh just as much.

Licking his lips, he unconsciously tightened his grip and Brian tensed all over, orgasm quickly overtaking him.

Slightly disappointed, Justin loosened his hold, but continued to stroke the softening flesh until Brian's hand tightened momentarily over his. He let go with a sigh and said, "Next time I want you to come in my mouth. I want to taste you."

Brian groaned and dropped his forehead onto Justin's chest. "Well, if you insist..."

Justin grinned. "I do," he said and then yawned widely. "But, later."

"Mmm. Later," Brian agreed.

Justin listened to Brian's breathing even out and smiled to himself. The past few hours had been amazing. He'd never known such pleasure was possible. And the fact that it was Brian giving him that pleasure was beyond incredible.

He wasn't foolish enough to believe that fantastic sex equaled love, but it hadn't just been sex. Brian had been so caring; that had to mean something.

Right?

***

More asleep than awake, Brian didn't question the intense pleasure singing through his body or the warm, wet suction around his hard-on. He figured it was just one hell of a wet dream -- a rare occurrence for him, but certainly not unheard of. And definitely not unwelcome.

He didn't react to the feel of phantom hands moving along his flanks until they pressed down onto his arching hips, stilling his unconscious movements and jarring him out of the hazy dream world he'd occupied. He realized that he wasn't dreaming and that the mouth giving him such exquisite pleasure belonged to Justin just as he reached his peak and spilled his seed into Justin's talented mouth.

Once he'd recovered from one hell of a wake-up call, he opened his eyes to look into Justin's grinning face. He arched an eyebrow at Justin's cat-that-swallowed-the-canary expression. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's rude to molest people while they sleep?"

Justin settled down onto his chest and began to play with Brian's nipples. "If they did, I don't remember it."

Concerned, Brian opened his eyes to check out Justin's expression and relaxed when he saw that the talk about things forgotten hadn't upset him. It was a relief after the night they'd had. Justin had been plagued by confusing and sometimes upsetting dreams off and on throughout the night, waking them both frequently.

Of course, he'd had to soothe the boy with incredibly hot sex after each one -- which meant that they hadn't gotten much sleep last night.

"Anyway, that was a 'thank you'," Justin said, interrupting his thoughts.

"'Thank you'? For what? Teaching you how to give blow jobs?"

Justin leaned over to kiss him softly. "Among other things."

Brian yawned and stretched, looking over at the clock. "Like what," he said absentmindedly and scratched at the dried flakes of cum on his chest. He needed a shower in the worst way.

He looked over at a thoroughly debauched looking blond and amended that thought. _They_ needed showers in the worst way.

Busy with his musings, Brian didn't notice when Justin turned serious. "For taking me in, for giving me the most amazing night of my life, for putting up with my shit," Justin said.

Brian looked up into Justin's blue eyes and saw an emotion there that he didn't want to identify, didn't want to accept, and sure as hell didn't want to admit might very well be in his own heart.

Brian Kinney didn't do love.

He quickly climbed out of bed and headed for the kitchen without acknowledging Justin's words. He needed a hit of something before he did something really, really stupid. 

Except, he was afraid that it was far too late for that.

"Brian?" He heard from behind him. "I...did I say something wrong?"

He winced and scrubbed his hands over his face and through his hair. He was truly and royally fucked.

"I don't need or want your thanks." He didn't want to think about Justin repaying his kindness with sex, because he wanted what they shared to mean something.

_Fuck!_ He was turning into a fucking lesbian!

Justin sighed. "I didn't mean it that way, you know."

Brian gave up on the idea of chemical relief -- he didn't want to freak out the kid any more than he already was -- and started making coffee instead.

"Last night was..."

"Fucking," Brian interrupted and turned to face Justin for the first time since he'd left their bed. "It was fucking."

Justin crossed his arms over his naked chest and said, "It was more than that and you know it. That's why you freaked when you thought I might have had sex with you because I felt I owed it to you."

"I did not 'freak'," Brian said. "I just didn't want to have some ridiculous morning after heart-to-heart. That kind of shit is for lesbians and breeders who've been brainwashed by fairy tales and greeting card companies.

"We're fags. We fuck. That's _all_."

When he finished, he waited apprehensively for the tearful breakdown that he felt sure was coming, but was surprised. Justin didn't break down; he didn't even rant and rave or try to convince Brian that he was all wrong. He simply looked at Brian for an eternal moment and then said, "If that's what you think, then I'm not going to argue with you," and went back to bed.

"What the fuck?" he said, feeling like he'd just been suckered, but not quite sure how.

"It's fucking one o'clock in the fucking afternoon," he shouted in the direction of the bedroom. "Get your ass out of bed."

Justin buried his head under one of the pillows, but otherwise ignored him.

"Fuck this," he said to no one and reached for the cordless phone. He dialed and when Debbie answered said, "Get over here. Now."

He heard, "Hey, who the fuck do you think...," as he pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed the off button, wishing fiercely that it was the kind of phone that he could pitch into a cradle with a satisfying slam. Instead he had to content himself with tossing it onto the counter.

Debbie better get her ass over here quickly or there was going to be hell to pay. He wanted that brat out of his home _immediately_.

And he'd tell Justin that, and to pack up his shit, as soon as Debbie got here.

***

Ordinarily, she would have ignored the royal summons from his Highness the Prick, but Sunshine was trapped there with him and she didn't want Brian taking whatever had pissed him off out on that kid. Sunshine had enough to deal with right now without adding on one of Brian's drama goddess (forget queen -- Brian took drama to a whole new level) moments.

She made it over to the loft in record time and refrained from pounding on the door out of concern for Sunshine.

When Brian opened the door she pushed her way past him and scanned the loft for Sunshine, wanting to be sure he was out of hearing range before she laid into Brian.

She nearly swallowed her gum when she realized the lump in Brian's bed -- Brian's thoroughly trashed bed -- was the teenager in question.

If she'd started out pissed, she was now apoplectic. If Brian thought she was going to help him clean up this mess...She'd rip off his balls and feed them to him first.

"Couldn't you keep your fucking dick in your pants for once? He's just a baby for fuck's sake. A baby who's depending on you right now. You fucking asshole."

"Will you keep it down? You'll wake him up."

Debbie snorted. "We wouldn't want that would we? At least, not until you can make a hasty retreat and avoid seeing the devastation in his eyes when he realizes that you've gotten what you wanted and are now throwing him away like so much garbage.

She ignored the anger and hurt in Brian's eyes, too pissed to care. Sunshine was the one she needed to worry about right now.

Incredibly disappointed in a man that she considered one of her own, she said, "How could you do something like that?"

Defensive to the last, Brian said, "It was easy." And then added, under his breath and obviously not meant for her ears, "too easy."

She was gratified to know that there was at least some remorse there. Maybe she wouldn't castrate him with her bare hands.

"Brian, you know I love you, but sometimes I could just kill you. He's got enough to deal with right now without adding on a broken heart."

Brian turned away, but not before she saw something unexpected in his eyes. Could it be...

"He's a tough kid."

She shook her head, feeling a little stunned by what she'd just seen. Had she been mistaken?

"You can be such a selfish asshole sometimes."

"Just sometimes," he asked and turned back to face her, face expressionless once more.

Deciding to put her suspicions to the test, she said, "I'm not taking him, Brian. He's your responsibility."

"The hell he is. Just because I was stupid enough to take him in doesn't mean I have to keep him. I could hand him over to the cops at any time."

"Then do it, because he's not staying with me. I can't take care of him and Vic."

"You're bluffing."

"Try me."

Brian's eyes held hers for several seconds then flicked past her to the boy in his bed. She saw that same expression flash across his face once again, just as his shoulders slumped slightly.

"Well, I'll be damned," she said, stunned, and collapsed onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

Brian turned haunted eyes onto her and said, "Don't."

She knew what he meant, of course. His parents had fucked him up but good and admitting that he might have actually fallen in love...well, he'd probably prefer the castration she'd been mentally planning. 

Poor kid. Hell, poor kids, because Sunshine was in for one hell of a ride. She sighed. "Don't fuck this up, Brian."

Brian gave her a look that said "of course I'm going to fuck this up".

The both heard the rustle of sheets at the same time and turned to look over at the heartbreakingly young blond sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Hi, Deb," he said with a yawn and a smile.

"Hey, Sunshine," she said and smiled back. How could she not?

She knew the moment he remembered the state he was in. He flushed bright red and yanked the sheet up to cover him from the neck down. 

"Relax, Sunshine, you haven't got nothin' I haven't seen before," Debbie said with a grin.

Sunshine turned slightly panicky eyes to Brian and Debbie decided to take pity on him. She turned back to Brian and said, "I expect to see the two of you tomorrow night for dinner."

"You're leaving?" Brian said, sounding just the slightest bit panicky himself. "So soon? You just got here."

"Sunshine doesn't seem to be dressed for visitors. Besides, I need to get back. I've got a roast in the oven."

She smiled widely, enjoying Brian's discomfort. It was about time someone managed to get under his skin. She'd been so worried that he was going to grow old alone. Or worse, finally manage to burn out completely and die young.

She pressed a kiss to Brian's cheek and said, quietly and in all seriousness, "I know you don't think so, but you deserve to be happy, kiddo. So, let it happen. Or I'll kick your ass."

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Brian said and pulled away from her.

"Uh, huh," she said, knowing full well that he was full of shit, but if he needed to pretend then she'd let him. For now.

"Don't forget -- Sunday night, dinner," she shouted to them both as she headed out the door.

She shook her head in amazement. Brian fucking Kinney was falling in love. With a fucking _teenager_. 

She couldn't wait to tell Vic. He was gonna flip.


	8. Trip on Love

Justin sat on the bed, staring after their now departed visitor. He could still feel the heat of a blush staining his face and neck and cursed himself for being so unsophisticated. He bet Brian wouldn't have wrapped himself up like a mummy and turned as red as a lobster at being caught naked in bed.

He looked over at Brian and frowned, noticing how agitated the man seemed. Was he upset because of Debbie or because of him?

He chewed at his lower lip and thought about his most recent predicament. He knew that somewhere along the way he'd fallen in love with the beautiful, moody, wounded man currently slamming things around in the kitchen. He also knew that Brian cared for him, deeply, or the previous afternoon and night wouldn't have happened.

Now he just needed to figure out what to do about it. He may not have known Brian very long, but Brian had made his opinions on love very clear.

Someone must have hurt him very badly in the past and Justin's heart ached for him. He wished he could take away every bit of pain that Brian had ever suffered.

Only, he couldn't. But he _could_ do everything in his power to not add to that pain -- which meant being patient and not pushing too hard. He'd let Brian set the pace. For the time being.

***

He could feel Justin's eyes on him, but refused to turn around and look. He was feeling...unsettled and he didn't like it. Normally, he would have immediately gotten rid of the source of his confusion, but he couldn't do that this time.

He couldn't do like he'd threatened and dump Justin off at the police station. God knows what would happen to him. He'd heard stories about what a lot of those foster and group homes were like and, while there were some really good ones out there, they seemed as dangerous as Jack and Joan's house of horrors.

He couldn't abandon Justin to that, not Justin.

"I'm going to take a shower," Justin said to the accompaniment of rustling sheets.

"You don't need my permission."

"I wasn't asking for it. Just thought you might want to join me, since you're probably as sticky and smelly as I am."

He was, but he didn't think joining Justin was a very good idea right now.

He heard a gusty sigh, then, "You don't have to worry, Brian. I'm not going to start planning a wedding just because you take a shower with me. It's just fucking, right?"

Shocked, he finally turned to face the young man standing by the bed in nothing but a sheet. Justin's eyes held his and he wasn't sure whether he was relieved or disappointed to not see any deceit.

"Of course."

"So then what's the harm in getting dirty while we get clean," he said with a grin and headed for the bathroom.

Brian stood there, motionless, until he heard the sound of the shower starting up and his mind began to supply him with graphic images of Justin's naked body as water ran along his supple flesh, sliding down his back and into the crack of his tight, little ass...

Next thing he knew, he was naked and pulling open the shower door to be greeted by the exact scene he'd just been fantasizing about. Justin slicked his hands through his hair, twisted his upper body, and flicked the excess water at Brian. "Are you coming in or do you plan on just standing there and watching."

"You know, I seem to remember you being a naï¿½ve virgin just a few hours ago. When did you become so bold and filthy minded?" he asked as he walked into the stall and gathered his dirty boy in his arms.

Justin laughed up at him and hooked his arms over Brian's shoulders. "I'm not sure, maybe some time around where you made me come from just your tongue up my ass? Or maybe it was when I had your dick down my throat for, like, the second, or was it the third, time? Or maybe..."

Brian shut him up by covering Justin's busy mouth with his own and gave that flapping tongue something more interesting to occupy itself with.

***

Brian trailed behind an excited Justin as they walked into Woody's several hours later. It was close to the last place that he wanted to be, but he hadn't checked his caller ID before answering the phone when it rang and had eventually caved in to Michael's relentless entreaties to join him at Woody's that night.

It was their usual custom on Saturday nights to stop off at Woody's for a few drinks before heading over to Babylon, providing Brian wasn't too busy with work. But, this night was different and he was neither in the mood for his usual Saturday routine nor the shit that Michael was likely to give him when he saw who had joined them tonight.

Justin, on the other hand, was thrilled to be visiting the bar. He hadn't stopped grinning since he'd learned of their new plans and had chattered non-stop the entire way there, which was quite a feat considering how little he could have to talk about -- what with the memory loss and all.

It should have bugged the shit out of him, but it had been almost comforting to listen to Justin's cheerful voice -- sort of like his own hot, blond version of those new-age, sound of nature CD's.

Christ, he _had_ turned into a lesbian.

And what was worse -- he was starting to like it. The sex alone was almost worth all these dreamy, sentimental moments.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of someone calling out his name.

He headed in the direction of his best friend, who was standing at the bar smiling widely and practically bouncing in place. Latching onto Justin's shirt sleeve, he couldn't help comparing Michael to an over eager puppy as he dragged the distracted teen over to where Michael, Ted, and Emmett were waiting.

He knew the exact moment Michael noticed Justin because the beaming smile changed to a frown. When they got close enough to hear, Michael said, "What the fuck is he doing here?"

"I want him here," Brian said and it was the truth -- terrifying, but the truth.

Justin ignored Michael and slid onto the empty bar stool next to Emmett.

"Hey, Baby," Emmett said and gave Justin a hug. "What brings a nice boy like you to a place like this?"

"What do you think?" Justin asked with a grin and looked up at Brian who, annoyed by Emmett's attentiveness, had come over to loop his arms around Justin's neck.

Emmett touched his tongue to the edge of his top row of teeth and arched his eyebrows at the possessive action, but otherwise didn't comment.

Michael on the other hand...

"Since when do you go for twinks?"

"Since now," Justin said with absolute certainty and turned to look Michael straight in the eye when he said it.

"I wasn't talking to you," Michael said in a condescending tone.

"I know. You were acting like a rude, little prick and talking about me like I wasn't here."

Michael's face turned red and he looked like he was going to explode. He looked back and forth between Brian, who stood there with a bored look on his face, and Justin who had leaned back into Brian's embrace and was looking up at him, ignoring Michael once more.

"Look, you little shit, I'm..."

Emmett stepped between the two combatants and cut Michael off. "OK, Boys," he said. "Why don't we pull in the claws before somebody gets hurt, hmm?"

An unexpected mental picture caused Brian to chuckle.

"What the fuck is so funny," Michael said.

"Yeah," Justin echoed in a mocking tone of voice.

Brian, arms still draped over Justin's shoulders, moved a hand down to pinch one of Justin's nipples. Justin curled in over the abused flesh and then lightly elbowed Brian in the stomach.

"What was that for?"

"For being a brat. Kitten," Brian replied with a smirk.

"Kitten?" Michael said, voice pitched almost a full octave higher. "You've given him a pet name?"

He turned to Ted and Emmett. "He gave the kid a _pet name_."

"So he did," Ted said dryly and saluted Brian with his beer bottle before taking a swallow.

"I think it's cute," Emmett said and smiled at Justin. "Don't let him take you for granted or take advantage, Baby. You deserve the very best."

"But I like it when he takes advantage," Justin said and pressed a kiss against the underside of Brian's chin.

"Stop acting like they're a couple, because they're not," Michael said to no one in particular, distress clear in his voice.

He looked directly at Justin. "Brian doesn't do boyfriends," he declared.

Justin said, "Brian does whatever the fuck he wants."

"Ain't that the truth," Ted piped in with.

"Enough," Brian said. "I knew coming out here tonight was a bad idea."

"No, what was a bad idea was bringing _him_."

"Mikey. Let it go."

He understood that Michael was upset. He hadn't exactly hidden his interest in Justin and, despite repeated declarations that they'd never be more than friends, Michael was still clinging to the idea that the two of them were destined to live happily ever after someday.

He hadn't wanted to cause Michael pain, because he did love his friend -- more than anyone else in his life. Just not in the way Michael wanted him to, not ever in the way Michael wanted him to. Up until a few days ago, he'd felt sure that he wouldn't ever love _anyone_ that way.

Well, now Justin was in the picture and Michael was going to have to learn to live with that. Apparently, though, he wasn't going to learn here and now, especially not with Justin egging him on.

Which begged the question -- why was Justin egging him on? Up until now Justin had been nothing but polite and friendly to everyone. He'd also, up until now, showed an amazing amount of maturity, so Brian couldn't believe that it was a simple case of "he's mean to me, so I'll be mean to him".

But whatever was bugging Justin, it was only making an uncomfortable situation worse. "Come on," he said and pulled Justin off his stool. "I think we've all had enough togetherness for one night."

"But we just got here," Justin said in a voice that was suspiciously close to a whine. "I haven't had a chance to get even one drink and I thought you could teach me to play pool," he finished with a pouty look that went straight to Brian's dick.

He looked over at the pool tables and thought about the delicious torture that was to be had pressed up against each other from shoulder to toes, his dick nestled between cloth covered, but underwear free, cheeks. He tightened his grip on Justin's shoulders and Justin raised his hands to grip Brian's forearms.

After a moment he shook off the sensual haze and released Justin. "Not tonight," he said once Justin had turned to face him.

They stayed that way, eye to eye, for several seconds before Justin sighed and conceded. "OK, but we _will_ do it some other time."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Michael bristle at the commanding tone and decided to get Justin out of there before there was bloodshed. 

"Don't worry," he said as he quickly guided Justin out of the building. 

"I promise to reward you handsomely for being so accommodating," he whispered into Justin's ear as soon as they were out of Michael's sight.

Justin grinned and started moving faster. "Why didn't you say so?"

Brian grinned back. "I just did."


	9. Trip on Love

**A/N:** Thanks for all the wonderful comments. I'm really glad you're enjoying my story. :-)

* * *

Sunday morning dawned far too brightly and far too early thanks to some asshole pounding on his door like he was trying to beat through the metal with his bare hands. He groaned and tried to roll over, away from the noise, but was stopped by the warm weight of his bedmate draped over his chest.

The pounding stopped abruptly and he sighed in relief. They'd gone away, so he could go back to sleep and get up at a more reasonable hour, like noon.

But that wasn't meant to be, because a second later he heard his front door being opened followed by his best friend's voice shouting out his name.

Pissed and determined not to have the fight that was sure to happen as soon as Michael saw a naked Justin in Brian's bed, Brian climbed out of bed as quickly as he could without waking Justin. He intercepted Michael and, as an added bonus, Ted just inside the door. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? I gave you that key for emergencies only."

"This is an emergency," Michael replied, voice sharp and tense. "Everyone's been trying to get a hold of you for hours. Lindsey went into labor."

Brian froze, physically and mentally -- the words "Lindsey" and "labor" echoing in his head.

"Fuck." He was going to be a father. 

God help the kid.

He turned back towards the bed to wake up Justin and wondered how the teenager would react to the news. Would he be horrified? Excited? Supportive? Or just confused? How would he feel knowing that Brian had simply donated his sperm and hadn't planned on being a part of the baby's life? Would he understand? Would he even care?

Brian gave himself a mental shake, telling himself to stop being such a drama queen.

"Why didn't you just call," he said over his shoulder and, biting the bullet, gave Justin a shake.

"I _tried_ ," Michael said from behind him. "Your phone's off the hook or something. All we got was a busy signal every time."

Brian took a moment to look over at the nightstand, remembering excited and uncoordinated fumblings from the night before and saw that the phone wasn't where he'd left it. He leaned over and scooped it up off the floor and, seeing the red LED light was lit, hit the off button. "Oops."

"Oops? Is that all you have to say for yourself? Just...," Michael started to say, but stopped the minute he got a look at the rumpled, still mostly asleep, and naked blond in Brian's bed.

"You didn't," Michael said forcefully. "Tell me you didn't fuck him."

"Looks to me like he fucked him," Ted said unhelpfully, leering at an oblivious Justin.

Brian ignored Michael for the moment in favor of his confused looking lover. But he spared a moment to glare at Ted until he raised his hands in surrender and walked out of the bedroom with one last lascivious glance at the gorgeous blond.

"Justin, get your ass out of bed. We need to go," he said once Ted was gone.

"Go where," Justin replied and stumbled upright rubbing at his eye with the heel of his hand, completely unmindful of his nudity.

Brian thought he looked utterly irresistible, so he didn't even try to resist, leaning over to capture Justin's lush lips and gather the blond into his arms.

Justin looped his arms around Brian's waist and, when the kiss ended, asked, "Did I hear Ted a minute ago? And where are we going?"

Justin finally noticed Michael and tensed. "What's he doing here?"

"You're completely fucking insane, Brian. He's not even legal," Michael interrupted to say. "You could be arrested."

"Only if you turn me in, Mikey. Are you planning on ratting me out to the cops?"

"Of course not; it's just..."

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Justin asked.

"Lindsey's having a baby," Brian said after taking a deep, fortifying breath. It still felt slightly surreal. A baby. A fucking baby. No way, not him. And yet...

"Who's Lindsey?"

"A friend of _ours_ ," Michael said gesturing with a hand to indicate that "ours" equaled him and Brian and not Justin. "We need to go to the hospital to see her and the baby. I'm sure you can entertain yourself for a few hours."

"I'm sure he could, except, he's coming with us -- as soon as he gets dressed."

Michael scowled, but remained silent.

"Maybe," Justin said, tentatively, "He's right. This Lindsey person doesn't even know me. I don't want to intrude."

Brian kissed Justin softly on the mouth and said, "You won't. You heard Deb the other day; you're part of the family now and I know that Lindsey's going to want to meet you. Besides, this is as much my day as hers and I want you to be there."

Justin frowned. "Why is it your day too?"

"Because the baby's mine."

Justin's eyes widened at Brian's bombshell. "What? How? Why? I don't..."

"Well, you see when two people love each other very much..."

Justin's eyes narrowed. "Spare me," he said and then his jaw clenched. "You're fucking with me. You're not having a baby at all."

"Of course I'm not having a baby. I don't have the right equipment. Lindsey's the one having the baby," he said and lightly slapped Justin on his still naked ass. "Try paying attention. And get dressed, already," he added, stepping towards his closet for a clean shirt and jeans.

Justin wrinkled his nose, but reached for some clothes of his own. Neither one noticed Michael stomp out in a huff.

"Did you really fuck her," Justin asked after a few minutes of silence.

"No," Brian said as he headed out, Justin trailing behind him. "I jerked off in a cup and they squirted it up her."

"Gross," was Justin's reply to that and Brian chuckled at the disgusted look on Justin's face.

"Don't worry, Sunshine, talking about pussy isn't going to scar you for life. No matter how traumatic it may seem."

Justin gave him the finger. Brian grinned and grabbed his keys off the counter. He glanced over at Michael, who was sulking by the door. "You coming with us?"

"No. Ted's waiting for me outside. I'll go in his car."

"Fine," Brian said. "Well see you there," and walked out, Justin at his side.

***

Justin followed Brian as he jogged down the hospital corridors heading for the room where Lindsey and Brian's son or daughter were "resting comfortably" (according to the nurse they'd spoken to).

He couldn't believe that Brian was going to be a dad and he had a feeling that Brian was equally incredulous. Brian seemed to shift from giddy to morose to bitchy from one second to the next and it was all Justin could do to keep up.

He was trying to be supportive or at least not be one more burden, so he promised himself that no matter how annoying Michael was or how provoking he was Justin would keep his mouth shut.

He still couldn't believe the way Brian had taken his side against Michael in their last two confrontations. He was feeling more and more confident that, whatever happened, Brian was going to be an important part of his life from now on.

They skidded around a corner and nearly ran over an orderly. Justin turned his head to offer a non-verbal apology and then they had finally arrived at their destination. Brian stood in front of the closed door for a long moment, breathing heavily. Justin waited patiently by his side until it became apparent that Brian wasn't going to enter on his own.

He covered Brian's forearm with his hand and squeezed gently. Brian looked over at him and he smiled, trying to offer reassurance without being obnoxious about it.

"This seems to be your week for hospital visits."

Brian snorted. "Yeah, I wonder if this baby will be as demanding and appealing as the one I picked up on Wednesday."

"First of all, I'm not demanding; I'm assertive. Secondly, no one could be as appealing as me. But I will concede that a child of yours couldn't be anything other than beautiful."

Brian stroked a thumb across his cheekbone then leaned over and kissed Justin lightly on the mouth. "Let's see if you're right, shall we?" Brian said and opened the room's door, walking inside as if he owned the place and without a trace of the nervousness and uncertainty of seconds earlier.

Justin shook his head in awe. He had a feeling that Brian would never cease to amaze him.

And he wouldn't want it any other way.

***

Brian stepped into the room, arrogant mask firmly in place -- something he couldn't have managed without Justin's help, and scanned its occupants. He noticed Michael right away, since he was standing near the back of the massive crowd of lesbians that filled almost every available space.

Luckily for him, they not only turned to look at his grand entrance, but they also created enough of an opening for him to get his first look at the child of his loins.

Lindsey was carefully holding the blanket wrapped bundle in her arms. She looked utterly spent with her sweat matted hair and sheet white complexion. She also looked incredibly energized as she smiled up at him.

"Come get a look at your son," she said to him with a wide smile. He glanced back at Justin, who smiled at him, and then he moved over to gather up the tiny infant.

He could feel his hands shaking slightly as he lifted his son ( _his son_ ) up into the air. It was incredible to look at the homely little face, with its scrunched up expression and nearly bald head and think that this was the most beautiful child to ever exist. He turned back towards Justin again and grinned at him, showing off his son. ( _His. Son!_ ) 

Justin looked fascinated and Brian beckoned him over with a twitch of his head. Justin walked over beside him and reached out to gently touch a finger to one miniature cheek. "He's beautiful," Justin breathed out in wonder.

Looking up at Brian he said, so quietly that no one else could hear, "I told you he would be."

Brian planted a kiss on the top of Justin's head and then went back to admiring his boy.

"We've been trying to decide on a name," Lindsey said and he looked over at her. She was playing with her ring and looking back and forth between him and Melanie, who was perched on the bed beside her and glaring at Brian. "Mel wants to name him Abraham, after her grandfather, but I like...Gus," she said with a significant look that no one could have missed.

Deciding to tease her a bit, though, and annoy Melanie at the same time, he looked over at Justin and said, "What do you think?"

"Me?" Justin asked, shocked. "Umm, He wouldn't last a day on the playground with a name like Abraham, but I guess Gus is OK."

Lindsey smiled at him and Brian knew, from the look in her eyes, that he was going to have a lot of questions to answer as soon as she got him alone.

Melanie scowled and gave Justin the once over. "And who the fuck are you?"

Michael, who up until that point had been behaving himself, finally decided to pipe in with, "a trauma victim that Brian took into his bed."

Brian tensed and Justin looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die, hunching his shoulders to appear smaller and ducking his head. Brian, for the first time ever, wanted to hurt his best friend. If Gus hadn't been in his arms, he might very well have punched the asshole. "Fuck you, Michael," he said instead and handed Gus back to his mother.

"His name is Justin and he's my lover."

Once Gus was safely back with Lindsey he took one of Justin's hands in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He heard several gasps from throughout the room and grinned wickedly. He loved confounding people.

"Christ, he's just a baby," Melanie said.

"I suppose, to someone your age, I must seem that way," Justin said with a glare.

"He's got you there, Mel. An old crone like you would think just about anyone was a baby," Brian said with an evil smirk.

"I'm the same age you are, Brian. So, does that make you an old fart?"

"Hardly," Brian said, annoyed.

"Please, guys," Lindsey interrupted. "Let's not fight. Not now."

Melanie and Brian exchanged looks and then subsided. Melanie smiled at her wife and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You're right, baby. This is neither the time nor the place."

Brian watched the happy couple cuddling together with their son for several seconds. He felt slightly wistful. A family had never been part of his plans and he still couldn't imagine being a full time parent, but spending time with his kid, watching him grow, and teaching him everything he needed to know to stay safe and happy...that might not be so bad.

At that point a nurse came into the room and told them all to head out, because "the mother needs her rest". So, he leaned down to get one last look at his son. "Bye, bye, Sonny boy."

Finally ready to go, he and Justin followed the rest of the crowd towards the door. When they reached it he stopped and turned. "By the way, in case you missed it, I like Gus, too. It's a nice butch name. Don't you think?" he said and winked at Lindsey.

He heard her laughter and Melanie's swearing as they walked out the door. Justin leaned against his side and said, directly into his ear, "You're evil."

Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and lifted him off his feet for a moment, kissing him on the mouth before letting him slide back down to the floor. "I know," he said to the now breathless teen.

He gathered Justin's hand back into his own and they headed out to the jeep. They'd exited the hospital and were halfway down the row where the jeep was parked when Justin stopped suddenly.

Brian turned to see what the problem was and realized that Justin's eyes were focused on a man who was walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the street. He was too far away to make out any details beyond the fact that he was small-ish and middle-aged with short dirty blond hair. "Shopping around for my replacement already," he asked, but got no response.

"Justin?"

Still no response, so he moved to place himself between Justin and the man walking down the street. He was worried now, wondering if that could be one of Justin's attackers. "Justin," he said again, a little more urgently and finally got a response.

"Dad," Justin choked out.

"What?" Brian said and spun around to look at the man again, just in time to see him turn the corner and disappear. "That was your father?"

Justin looked at him, eyes full of pain. "No. He just looks like...Brian, he threw me out."

"Wait. I thought...," Brian started to say, but then his brain finally restarted after stopping when confronted with the horror of knowing that this was it -- Justin was going to be taken from him. And he wasn't even close to ready for that. But, now, he realized that Justin's father not only _wasn't_ just around the corner, the stupid prick had thrown Justin out.

Which meant Justin was his.

He was so fucked. But, strangely enough, he wasn't upset about it at all.

His elation was cut short when he realized that Justin might not be as thrilled about this latest development as he was. He pulled Justin into a hug and Justin wrapped his arms over Brian's back and dug his hands into Brian's shoulders.

"It's alright."

"He...he hates me."

"You don't know that."

"I do. He said he didn't want a fa...faggot living under his roof. I had five minutes to get what I could and then he dragged me out of the house. And my mom...She just stood there and watched. She didn't even try to stop him. She said she'd always love me and I'd always be her son, but she let him throw me out like I was garbage."

Brian felt the wetness of Justin's tears soaking into his shirt and tightened his grip on the young man who had come to mean so much to him in such a short time. He tried to think of something to say, some way to take away the pain, but there wasn't anything. He knew that from personal experience. His parents had always treated him like unwanted trash.

So, he just held Justin close and offered what little comfort he could. "You're not alone, Justin. You're not alone." _And neither am I, now that I have you._

Eventually, Justin pulled away and Brian reluctantly let him go. He hooked a finger under Justin's chin and lifted his head, so he could see Justin's tear-streaked face.

Justin wiped at his eyes and then wiped at Brian's wet shirt. "I'm sor..." Brian stopped the words with a gentle kiss. "No apology necessary."

"Thanks," Justin said with a watery smile. "Guess I was about due for a breakdown, huh?"

"I guess you were," Brian said. "You can stay with me as long as you want. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, just...I might want to stay for a really long time," Justin said while his fingers played nervously with the buttons on Brian's shirt.

Brian stroked a hand through Justin's silky blonde hair and tried to figure out what to say. He knew what he _felt_ and what he _wanted_ , but saying it out loud...It seemed like an unnecessary tempting of fate, but Justin needed _some_ kind of reassurance.

"I'll clear out some drawers and closet space for your stuff."

Justin's hands stilled and he looked deep into Brian's eyes. "I don't have much."

"Don't worry; we'll fix that."

**Epilogue**

"Where the fuck is my other shoe," a frantic sounding Justin said as he darted out of the bedroom, eyes scanning the room as he went.

"Is that what I'm sitting on?" Brian asked and pulled out the hard something that had been digging into his ass.

Justin grabbed the shoe out of his hand and offered a breathless, "Thanks," and a bright smile.

"That's it? No reward for the hero?"

Justin grimaced playfully at him and said, "I don't have time. I'm going to be late as it is."

Brian pouted at him and Justin laughed. Giving in he kissed Brian deeply and thoroughly, but pulled away when he felt Brian's hands slide over his thighs and towards the hem of his shirt.

"I really have to go. Don't want to make a bad impression on my first day of school."

He slipped the dress shoe onto his foot and tried to calm down a little. He knew he was completely wired and that Brian's lechery was an attempt to distract him from his first day jitters -- mostly, anyway.

Sometimes, he still couldn't believe how his life had turned out. Who ever would have thought that being thrown out of his home would be the best thing that could happen to him? Well, it was.

Remembering his abandonment by his family turned out to be the block that was keeping his memories at bay. Once he'd remembered that, everything had come back -- everything except the attack that brought him into Brian's life, anyway. He still didn't remember how he'd come to be lying unconscious in the road and the doctors said he might never remember thanks to the head trauma he'd suffered. 

He and Brian had been together for almost two months now. And, while they still had a ways to go before they were completely comfortable sharing the same space -- Brian more so than him, they were getting better.

And speaking of getting better, Brian's friends were also learning to accept the fact that Brian was in a relationship with someone twelve years younger than him. Even Michael had begun to act civil around Justin; though, Justin credited that to the presence of Ben Bruckner, Michael's new love interest. Having finally found a man of his own, he'd let go of the worst of his longing for Brian -- although Justin figured Michael would drop Ben in a second if Brian ever showed any real interest in hooking up with him.

All in all, life was good. He got lots and lots of hot sex on a nightly basis, he had the sexiest boyfriend in the state, and he knew who he was.

He was also going back to St. James for his senior year of high school, thus the nervousness. He wasn't really talking to his parents. His mother had made attempts to rebuild a relationship with him, but he was wary. She'd abandoned him once; who was to say she wouldn't do it again? His father still wanted nothing to do with his queer son. However, they'd agreed to pay for his final year of school, so he wouldn't have to start all over again at a new one.

He was glad of that, but was still worried. Things had changed since his junior year. He was out now and living with a man and he had no idea how the other students would react to that -- not that he planned to tell anyone (other than Daphne, his best friend, who already knew and was totally cool with it). He just didn't want to hide who he was, so he knew it would come out eventually.

"Stop brooding," Brian said pulled him down onto his lap. "It'll cause wrinkles."

Justin grinned at him. "I guess you would know," he said and smoothed his fingertips over the skin beside Brian's eyes.

Brian shoved him sideways onto the couch and pinned him there. "Are you implying that I'm something less than young and perfect," he said menacingly.

"Not at all," Justin said and looped his leg over Brian's thigh, rubbing slowly up and down. "You could never be anything less than perfect." _To me._

Brian pressed Justin into the cushions with his body and began to thrust his hips in time with the stroking of Justin's leg. The friction of warm, hard body and silky cloth brought him to aching hardness almost instantly.

All thoughts of school vanishing from his head, he arched up into the contact and moaned out his lover's name.

"I think you need to be punished," Brian whispered into his ear and Justin felt a lightning bolt of need spike through his body and into his now rock-hard dick. "Please," he said and tried to capture Brian's lips with his own. Brian evaded him and tightened his grip on Justin's wrists.

"Stay still," Brian said and began to slide the tip of his nose from the top of Justin's jaw and down his throat to the opened collar of his shirt. Justin squirmed at the arousing, but inadequate contact. He kicked off one shoe and tried to encourage Brian to give him more by rubbing his toes over the sensitive flesh between Brian's legs.

It was Brian's turn to moan and he lowered one of his hands to reach between them and undo his pants. He then returned that hand to where it had been previously and said, "Nice try, Sunshine, but you're not going to break my control that easily."

Wanting to get off and wanting to get off now, Justin turned his head and bit down on Brian's earlobe. He chewed at the succulent flesh for a moment before releasing it then, remembering a certain fetish of Brian's, said, "I'm not wearing any underwear."

Seconds later he was draped over the back of the couch, arms braced to allow him to push back into his lover's thrusts, pants around his ankles, shirt pushed up under his armpits, and Brian's dick buried to the hilt inside his ass.

He pushed back trying to take Brian deeper inside his body and nearly sobbed when Brian withdrew only to slam back home a split second later. He began to thrust in earnest then, Justin meeting him stroke for stroke. 

Every time Brian slammed into him Justin's dick slid along the leather of the couch and he could feel his orgasm building as Brian rode him harder and harder. Neither one could sustain that pace for any length of time and it wasn't long before they went over the edge into completion.

Brian drove into him one last time. And when Justin felt Brian's dick swell, he deliberately clenched his internal muscles around his lover. Brian bit down onto his shoulder to muffle what sounded almost like a scream and went completely rigid.

The bite was the final straw for Justin and he exploded, mouth opened in a silent scream of his own.

When they finally came down, Brian pulled out to a disappointed sigh from Justin. Brian rolled them so that he was stretched out on the couch with Justin spread out on top of him and they stayed that way, basking in the afterglow.

"I love you," Justin said against Brian's collarbone and felt Brian's arms momentarily tighten around him. Brian's only response was a gentle kiss to his forehead. And it was OK that Brian didn't say the words back, because Justin knew that the feeling was returned.

He didn't need the words; he just needed the man.

* * *

**A/N #2:** I know the ending's a little abrupt and doesn't really address Justin's being attacked, but I felt that this story had become more about Brian and Justin finding each other than about Justin's near-rape.

I am, however, thinking about doing a sequel that will clear up some of the loose ends.


End file.
